Sunday, December 5, 2010

Native American Ten Commandments

"Native American Ten Commandments"

....Sacred Instructions Given By The Creator To Native People At The Time Of Creation....

Treat the Earth and all that dwell thereon with respect.

Remain close to the Great Spirit.

Show great respect for your fellow beings.

Work together for the benefit of all Mankind.

Give assistance and kindness wherever needed.

Do what you know to be right.

Look after the well being of mind and body.

Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good.

Be truthful and honest at all times.

Take full responsibility for your actions.


The True Peace

The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells Wakan-Taka (the Great Spirit), and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us. This is the real peace, and the others are but reflections of this.
The second peace is that which is made between two individuals, and the third is that which is made between two nations.

But above all you should understand that there can never be peace between nations until there is known that true peace,  which, as I have often said, is within the souls of men.

Black Elk, Oglala Sioux & Spiritual Leader (1863 - 1950)


Two Wolves - A Cherokee Parable

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life...

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves."

"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied,

"The one you feed."

Monday, November 8, 2010

Expectations, Entitlement & Ego

Recently, it was brought to my attention that I have exceedingly unrealistic expectations of how the world should behave!  I have known this for some time, but was unable to really pin down why I am like this and have always been obsessed with fairness and justice.  Part of why this is so important is because I am never seeing the world as it is; instead, I am always hoping or expecting the world to be different.  By doing this, I am setting myself up for disappointment at every turn.

Because I have no control over others, I cannot simply wish their behavior to change and take it personally when it does not; however, this is how I have been living for many years.  What I have discovered is profound:  I have been handed (by virtue of the affluence which I was born into) a very easy, safe and comfortable life.  I feel entitled to be treated as I treat others no matter what - this is my ego going strong; I am trying to control the outcome of every situation so that I remain feeling at ease, safe and comfortable.  When something goes against what I believe should be happening, I am deeply disappointed and struggle with trying to make sense of this betrayal perpetrated on me.

All of this comes down to one huge piece of my puzzle: 

Fundamentally, I did not grow up liking or loving myself for me.  I learned to people please and as such, was only validated from the outside in.  Although this was a manipulation of others, it was also terribly misleading for me.  I became dependent on things outside of myself to validate every part of my being.  If I had loved myself and knew this at the core of my being, I could experience any injustice but know that it was never about me personally!  I could see the weakness in the other person, but let it go because it was never about me.  Instead, I would replay the scene over and over again in my head and try to understand why things did not go my way.  I would have conversations in my head trying to figure out how to convince someone to see things my way and validate me by doing this.

I have been held hostage by this my entire life.  I believed early on that anothers bad behavior was purposely aimed at me and I took it personally; I was convinced that if I were more worthy or valuable, this unfair or unjust situation would never be part of my world.  I lived in a constant state of let down, disappointment, and sadness for myself due to my proven unlovability.

My wise friend (who I am just getting to know) learned at an early age  that another person's bad behavior was not going to define or undermine him!  This bad behavior illustrated their weaknesses and nothing about him. What a beautiful gift!  To know yourself so deeply and with such reverence that you can allow others to be exactly who they are going to be and it is ok, because you are enough! 

Additionally, because my friend is enough and values himself, he does not overeat or drink to excess or engage in any behavior that is self destructive!  Can you imagine?  Eating properly and exercising properly not because someone tells you that it is good for you, but because you celebrate yourself on such a high level that you cannot behave differently!  This just boggles the mind in the Western world and isn't that sad?

Many in our society earn distinction and celebrity by being more and more self-destructive in entertaining ways.  We celebrate and pay respects to those young artists who have died early after abusing their body, mind and spirit.  Of all things, to show respect to someone who did not value themselves enough to treat their beautiful and awesome being with the highest regard.

Along with expectations, entitlement goes ego or arrogance.   We believe our way is correct and part of our entitlement or higher purpose.  How dare we decide what others must feel, do or say!  This is so prevalent in affluent areas, but we assign this entitlement mentality to those in poorer situations as if to deflect from what we know is true of ourselves.  How many times have we thought that someone does not deserve to collect welfare or subsidy because we know better how to help them?  Maybe we have a theory, but what makes us the one who knows exactly what their situtation requires?

So what is the answser?  I believe in my case it is focusing on learning how to love myself so fully that I do not have any voids within me.  From this point of personal strength, I am then no longer concerned with what others do or do not do as they cross paths with me.  I am only taking care of myself and that is job enough.

Additionally, as I take care of myself by loving and respecting who I am, I can treat others as I wish to be treated but not expect to be treated.  Instead, I do this free and clear of ANY expectation that I must or should receive the same.  I give openly without expectation of anything in return and that is enough for me.  Instead of attaching an expectation of entitlement which could end in disappointment, I stay in the perfection of the moment where I am fully alive and present, offering love to another because that is reward in itself - this is what I celebrate now without needing any assurance of what the future will bring or living in any fear of what the past was about. 

I am free!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Love Must Be Balanced

Hello My Fellow Seekers,

Well, color me violet and indigo! I had a moment of sheer and divine epiphany again!   Isn't this great?

So, I am sitting here re-reading a book called Messages From the Masters (Brian Weiss, MD) and there is a story about Elisabeth Kubler Ross and her mother who had a stroke and died four years later after suffering terribly by not being able to take care of herself. The mother was a woman who always gave to others freely, but never was able to freely receive.  After she died, her daughter Elisabeth was VERY angry with God over what happened; one day during a regular meditation, she heard a divine voice ask her why she was so angry.  She replied that God had betrayed her mother.  God answered that her mother was NEVER betrayed, but instead offered the option of learning how to receive love in only four years as opposed to having to die and return for another lifetime learning how to receive love as someone who was chronically ill or impaired.  Love must be balanced.  This was a true gift to her mother!

In that moment, I realized something HUGE!  I have been writing and blogging all summer about fear and about my family that doesn't understand my work and their roles in my life as people who also have fear, etc. What I have failed to do is just receive their love for me!  Despite the fact that they may do things for me in ways that are different from what I want, they are still doing their own way, they have loved me and in my own way, I failed to accept this and receive it openly and willingly!

This inability to receive is part of the reason why things have been so difficult for me. Until I was unable to receive love freely wherever it was being given, I was going to have to keep learning the lesson the hard way!

How many of us do this and don't realize we are blocking gifts of love with our own struggle? If we stop struggling for just a moment and ask for clarity, we may be able to see what we have been missing! I know I just did.

Thank you for the lesson!


Friday, September 17, 2010

More Insights, More Surrender & More of This Divine Life!

I operate my life and my relationships according to the following insights:

1. The physical universe is an actualization of my thoughts.
2. If my thoughts are cancerous, they create a cancerous physical reality.
3. If my thoughts are perfect, they create a physical reality brimming with LOVE.
4. I am 100% responsible for creating my physical universe the way it is.
5. I am 100% responsible for correcting the cancerous thoughts that create a diseased reality.
6. There is no such thing as out there. Everything exists as thoughts in my mind.

These insights are part of an ancient healing technique  from Hawaii called Ho’oponopono.
Ho'oponopono is about taking full responsibility for your life and all the good or bad circumstances in it.

Recently, I have posted a lot about fear. The reason I have done this is to impart to you how all pervasive this emotion is in our society today and how damaging its effects can be. Over the last few weeks, I have been going through a great deal of pain with even more growth and insight...such a beautiful blessing.

I want to share some of these more recent insights with you. Take a look and see how you might be dealing with the world, remembering that your world is really your own creation and as such, it can be re-created at any time!!!

Before you change your world, you need to be deeply honest about how you have constructed it thus far. Once you examine your current world, you can then take steps to discard what you don't like and create anew, what you do like!

Truly empowering.
Friend or Foe

This might sound like the most simple concept in the world, yet it took a dear friend to help me see it:

Do you see the world as a friendly place or a hostile place?

The answer to this may explain numerous things to you...I for one have grown up seeing the world as a hostile and threatening place. It was not until today when she said this question to me, that I got “it”! And by “it” I mean that everything I was doing in life has been premised on the fact that I need to protect myself from the world. WOW...that is an exhausting task!

Now the reason this is so powerful is that my subconscious mind had taken the idea that the world is a hostile place and kept it as truth. No matter what I did consciously to see or do differently, my subconscious mind had the real programming and would not allow me to break through this reality.

Consequently, I was unable to allow myself to receive freely because I was unintentionally blocking all friendly and good things by this subconscious programming.

I could spend time telling you how I ended up believing this, but that is really not important – it is interesting but not terribly helpful to ending the problem. The minute my friend said that I was blocking out the good by this view that the world is unfriendly, I woke up! Although I may have known what I was doing intellectually, my essence or spirit was not understanding it until that moment when I realized, “oh, she is right.” “Seeing the world as hostile has kept me from really enjoying the fruits of what I do.” After all, how could anyone receive anything from a world that seems to be a threat?

And even more important, anyone who believes that this world is a hostile place is by definition not living connected to God/Source/Creator. God or Source would not create such a place to begin with so even though I felt as if I were living side by side with God, I was not...instead, I was living in an alternate dimension where all was negative and angry.

Sweet Surrender

I cannot tell you how often I have used the word “surrender” in the last few months; I said it or thought it many, many times. Despite how much I used that word, I never actually understood what I meant by it! I was certain of one thing: Once I surrendered, I would finally be free of this gripping financial fear issue and the constant struggle with my family to understand and know me in my current role of intuitive, healer and spiritual adviser. So there I would sit in meditation, trying desperately to surrender and to feel that release. I craved that freedom that I just knew would engulf my whole being and then I would know that I had turned the corner. Try, try as I might, that freedom and surrender just would not come!

In fact, I kept actually feeling a physical block from surrender. I was working as hard as I could...trying to get there, but something kept blocking me from achieving it and so I worked even harder trying to get there, to that illusive surrender.

Then today, while reading about light workers, I was thinking about all those wonderful souls that I work with who (like me) are light workers when suddenly, BOOM, I felt it! I knew what it was in an instant! The IT was surrender! I had just surrendered fully!

Right then and there, I realized that surrender was not something I had to actively move towards or work at. All I had to do was move out of my own way and let God come into me! What I mean is this: I often talk about having a relationship with Source/Creator/God and how personal and intimate this must be. That is true. You must cultivate a relationship with Source that allows you to go there and be with Source when you need to. But, what I have left out is the following: You must allow God to come into you! This is the surrender. This is the place where you simply allow and KNOW from within and without that all you do, say, be and feel is from God/Source/Creator. From that moment on, as you move out of the way, life is no longer about you and control or ego; that part of you has surrendered (stepped aside) and is now replaced by God/Source/Creator!

And when it happens, oh my! When you release everything and know deep, deep down that it will be alright because you are no longer flying your plane; instead, you have turned that plane called LIFE over to the most sophisticated and powerful auto-pilot around!! You can sit back and glide - just learning and being because literally you and the father are one! Finally.

In these last few months, I knew something was wrong, but I did not realize it was the fundamental point of once again releasing control. In all the struggle and fear, I had taken back my ego and in doing so, my ego began holding me hostage.

“What will I do? What should I do? Should I get a “real” job like everyone is telling me to do? Why is this so hard...why can't this be easy ?” Mind chatter would go on and on... and on.

On top of all that, I began to resent people that I perceived as being responsible for my family who was not supporting me and never had; my clients who were not following through when they had opted to work the month, but then canceled on me at the last minute. Once again, although I knew better, I was obsessed with everything outside of me; not only was I obsessed, but I was trying to fix, control or judge all of it. By doing this, I was once again imprisoned in negativity and powerlessness. Aarggghhhhh!!!

In the moment when I surrendered, I knew myself to be one with Creator/God/Source; instantly, all my resentments, worries and fears slipped easily away into some abyss no longer connected to anything to do with me. I am free!

So, remember that to surrender, you don't have to work at anything or aim for something or get somewhere. All you need to do is literally get out of your own way and invite your God/Creator/Source into that wide open space and become one with you. From this place of wholeness, you can know and be pure consciousness and bliss.

I am sharing with you, in order, the more recent epiphanies that I have is the last piece of my big puzzle:

Crushing Cruelty

The other day I received an incredibly cruel and hateful letter from my landlord in response to my giving notice and explaining why I was leaving. I almost printed the letter here so you could see how venomous this was! I was shocked by the letter and its sentiment because I had no idea that I was disliked this intensely; for months, all the communications had told me that I was the most kind and considerate tenant ever!

What bothered me even more was the anger that was being poured into this piece of paper as if unloading on me would cure the deep fear the author was clearly experiencing. We have spent so many years being told that we must speak our truth as if being sure to blame someone else will release what we are feeling. Trust me, it doesn't. You will never be able to let all that negativity out of you until you actually take responsibility for creating it in the first place.

What I know is this: I may make mistakes but how someone else feels about me is THEIR issue, not mine as I have no control over their emotional state. After reading the letter, I was sad because I had no idea that the level of hostility towards me went so deep; had I known, I would have left months earlier. I never want to be in a situation where I am not wanted that much!

When I responded, I did so in kindness because the only thing I can control is how I feel, what I do and what I say; therefore, I am not going to respond to anger and hate with that in return. Instead, I will wrap it in love and energy with the intention of diffusing the power of it so that my body is not negatively affected by it.

Being able to do this was a result of all the work I have done over the years on learning about my purpose for being here and how to elevate my consciousness. I know that I am 100% responsible for changing anything in my life that I do not like; it it not someone else' responsibility to fix me. I could clearly see what was theirs to handle and what was mine.

 Cells have memory. the truth of the matter, is I started to really get overwhelmed by the hostility directed at me in that letter. In becoming overwhelmed, I right away went back into fear. Despite all the work I have done and all the continued awareness, it is very easy for my body, mind and spirit to revert to old patterns. Even if I have released what I believe are the guts of those patterns, there are still remnants in my subconscious that I may not know about until these are brought forward into my conscious mind; however, the beauty of doing this work is knowing that I will have the opportunity to clear everything if I just keep going!

My body and spirit responds in the way it best remembers and until I change that, then I am stuck. So, much of what is happening now is simply a result of my past thinking and fear about the world. I get stuck in the subconscious belief that I am just not ok here.  I have constructed a reality that, of course, will come after me since that is what I fear deep down.  Also, having come from a fear-filled, overprotective family, I have created a pattern of relying on this family to bail me out of difficult situations. The result of doing this is a loss of courage and confidence that I can fall, pick myself up and continue on. Mistakes become too big and then I am too fearful of making them.

I had a realization through this experience that despite being sober for nearly four years, I have been unconsciously recreating those same patterns of addiction in other things. When I find myself in a crisis, I begin to panic and feel paralyzed. Then, I may decide I need to approach my father and ask for his help or to have him solve the problem. I agonize for days about having to, once again, admit my “failure” and go to him for help. This is true physical agony. Once I go to him, I receive the solution and I can release all the anxiety. Can you see how this is a little like an alcoholic agonizing over trying to not drink all day, then finally giving in and releasing all that pent up fear and anxiety once the alcohol hits the blood stream?

One of the hardest parts of life for an addict or alcoholic is overcoming the idea that stable is boring. For most of us, we have lived lives of extreme ups and downs. Stability is truly the unknown and if it is known to us, it seems dull. Although I have give up substances, I allowed the old patterns of chaos to creep back into my life and sabotage me. BUT...and this is the big BUT, I was able to see it! And, I was able to see it in a lot less time than it used to take. Most importantly, because I am taking responsibility for 100% of my life, I am able to CHANGE this and that is divine.

Today, I am been able to let go and move on to living a life as an adult woman who is true divinity as well. 

Even though this may seem to take a great deal of time and a lot of hard work (both of which are true), the end result is living a life that is empowered, healthy and joyful with deep peace as well.  Raising your consciousness so that your life is of a higher dimension, as well as having the tools to deal with all challenges is nothing short of miraculous and why not?  Life should be celebrated and enjoyed...danced to and revelled in...the years go by in an instant and we must teach our children how precious these years are and how awesome this thing called Earth, Gaia is as well!  Dance with me! 
Not my will, but thine. Thank you for the lesson. - Paul Solomon

Monday, August 23, 2010

Dance with Joy, Celebrate in Awe and Be your Bliss!

I want to follow up my many musings about fear with a short, but to the point post about bliss....After all the fear drained out of me the other day, it was replaced with faith and by association bliss!

One of the attitudes I had stuffed back into my closet since I felt that I was “less than” was joy. I have not been celebrating and living in joy as I can and should do. If our reality really is reflected back to us, and I believe it is, then it is imperative that we celebrate and live in bliss today so that what is mirrored back to us tomorrow is equally as amazing!

I think many of us undergoing a spiritual journey tend to become very serious about our world and practice. I know I do. Often times, I forget that one ingredient essential to this entire process – Awe! I fail to celebrate when I wake up in the morning that I am so blessed to be able to create an entirely new day in which to dance, skip and play – or do cartwheels in the park!

Part of the problem is our failure to live in the now. Often times when I wake up, I am carrying yesterday or many yesterdays with me and that is a lot of baggage to have when you want to dance or skip or play! It is crucial that we treat each day as a new beginning and free of all our yesterdays. Additionally, this new beginning must not be wrapped in any fear of the future either. Tomorrow has not yet come, so it bears no influence on today's start up.

Another problem some of us have is being results or goal oriented. I know, I know ...we spend our entire lives being told we must form, set and reach our goals, but there is something very wrong with this approach. We fail to enjoy the journey or the process of getting where we want to go. When we miss what is happening along the path, we have missed an entire lifetime of things to be grateful for.

Often, I am so focused on what I want to achieve in meditation or healing that I forget to be present during the actual process. Most importantly, by focusing only on the goal, I can be very disappointed if my goal is not reached; I always have to remind myself that I am not the one healing...God is doing the work and it is God's will, not mine that matters. Since the outcome is not up to me, then I might as well enjoy the actual time spent getting wherever we are going!

Also, when we are so sensitive, we tend to have developed different methods of protecting ourselves by being defensive. I am guilty of this a usually shows up in my being isolated. When I first began my journey, I was isolated because I needed to work and study or pray; however, now I find that I often stay isolated to protect myself from being so sensitive and experiencing hurt in the outside world. This is a tough struggle – having enough faith that you know you are safe, but staying sensitive and empathic enough that you do your most good for others.

Many masters speak of seeing the world through God's eyes. I realized this morning as I was beginning another day, that to see this world through God's eyes would mean that I was full of bliss and excitement. Why blissful? Why wouldn't I see all the mistakes that man has made and feel sorrow? Because God does not have judgment or regret! Those are man/woman's emotions. God has only the purest love for all creation and as such could never see what is wrong...only what is right!

I have made a commitment to see what is right with the world and not what is wrong with it. I will decide to live in bliss, passion and joy for my opportunity to know and love as God does.

Won't you join me?

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Importance of Being Fearless

The Importance of being Fearless

For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid. Afraid of something, but I don't always know what that something is. I only know that this fear has trapped me, influenced every decision and action in my life and come close to taking my life as well. I cannot count the opportunities I have missed or walked away from due to this fear.

Even as a very young child, I was tremendously afraid. I was terrified of sirens and other loud noises. 4th of July was my nightmare! Going to see fireworks nearly unhinged me. My first memory of kindergarten is of crying hysterically outside the door while my mom bargain and bribes me to let go of her and go inside! This separation anxiety never really left me and reared its ugly head at the most inopportune times, such as sleep overs – usually resulting in my calling my mom or dad to come pick me up from my friend's house in the middle of the night. When I was thirteen, we went to visit my mother's family in Kansas. I was such a trembling ball of fear that my uncle who was a good ole boy, hunter type with three girls and two boys, begged my family to send me to them for a summer so that he could “toughen me up”.

Lately, I have been in such fear of financial ruin that I have become almost paralyzed by it. Let me walk you through my crazy thought process based on this fear. I have had to borrow money to survive and each time I need to ask for help, I am almost physically ill. I put off asking until I am nearly on empty. I also fight with myself about why I am failing to manifest what I want and need in my life when I know how to do this. It seems that I am able to manifest almost everything, except complete financial independence. After I have struggled with myself over all of that, I go to a darker place. In this place, I see myself as a burden to my family and others. I am a failure of the highest proportion - someone who will never get out of this horrible cycle...I even fantasize about being gone – being done, so no one will have to bother with me anymore – so I will no longer be a burden. The cycle of fear, anger and punishment keeps itself going and going and going until there seems to be no way out other than something extreme.

Now given the work that I do and all that I know, you would think that I would naturally just fall back on my faith. Wrong! The other issue I was having was trying to replace this huge unidentified fear with a blanket of faith...this was not working either. I had read everything I could get my hands on and done all the exercises to try and overcome this issue with faith. But, my fear was so deeply embedded in me that until I really understood what I was afraid of, I could not simply try to overpower the fear with faith.

But, I digress...let me tell you the entire fear story....

Perhaps the worst part of being such a fearful child was learning how to manipulate others into giving me what I wanted and therefore never having to learn how to walk through that fear. I was always able to find a way to quit or stop short of having to face my fear and this behavior was usually supported by my mother; of course, she had no way of knowing that this would haunt me later in life. Long story short, I was overprotected and guarded my entire life. I never grew up, nor learned how to face life on my own in a complete and mature way. My fear kept me a child and as such, I stayed completely dependent on my family rather than finding my own family to start and work towards.

In order to deal with this fear, I learned to control every aspect of my life including people. I became the A+ student, the teacher's pet, the “people-pleaser”. Even though my peers were not that impressed, I knew I had to please the adults at all costs. In high school, I was blessed with swimming talent and became the first freshman to swim varsity that year, breaking records left and right. Suddenly, I was incredibly popular with teachers, parents and finally, my peers. When I lost a uniform sweater that I was particularly attached to, I formed an intention in my mind that I would, at all costs, find that sweater if it took me the entire year! It didn't and I did find it. I share this with you to illustrate just how controlling I was in an effort to avoid the fear that chased me.

Everything came unglued for me when I started college. My entire high school social life was focused on my boyfriend (a track star to my swimming star) who I met when I was fourteen. He was one year older and together, we were going to save the world or at least, save the youth in the world! We were focused, motivated and totally committed. When he left for college that year before me, I lost my focus and commitment. I stopped swimming, tried out for the senior play and made it, started dating someone who was considered a “bad boy” (but wasn't) and somewhere in there, I fooled myself into thinking that I had rid myself of that awful fear – finally!

But, fear is a tricky business. If you don't face it, you don't end cannot run from it and you cannot hide from it. You might be able to lull it into a corner where it sits quietly waiting for you to forget it is there and that is exactly what I did. I forgot about it until it got tired of sitting in that corner.

When I went off to college, I was a prime target for that fear. I no longer had parents asking me to achieve something. I no longer needed to perform for my teachers and make them happy. I was enrolled at UC Berkeley where everyone, especially as a freshman, was anonymous. The school was too large for there to be any other arrangement. At the time, I didn't realize this, but every one of my reasons for being were gone and suddenly I was lost. I had no idea how to create a life for myself. Most importantly, I didn't really even know who I was or what I wanted because I had spent so much time being defined by the people that I could please.

Over time, controlling the fear didn't work anymore and I was becoming depressed, anxious and angry. I had found therapy and a way to blame all of this dysfunction on everyone else. Unfortunately, that approach never really worked and certainly didn't free me from the fear; it only made me angrier.

Most importantly, the amount of time that I dedicated to avoiding fear kept me from finding out who I was and what I really wanted in this world. That made me even angrier – but at whom?

When my mother died in 1991, I was thirty years old and convinced that my fear of losing her is what caused her to die young. I remember noticing when my mom died what an impression she had made on everyone. People who only knew her briefly cried about her passing; the sad thing is she never knew just how much her light shown in this world. You see, she was also living in fear. She lived in fear her entire life and as a consequence, she never realized just how special she was to this world.

I look back at my twenties and thirties and realize the same thing. Although I made a huge impact on certain people in my life, I could never enjoy who I was because I really did not believe I was enough. So by the time my mother died, I was already a wreck. Add in my even deeper depression and anger and I was just searching for any way out. I found it in illness and chronic physical pain. The answer I thought, was in treating that physical pain and illness with a correct diagnosis, appropriate medical intervention and, of course, mind-numbing narcotics. Once again, I found a way to sedate the fear and return it to the corner.

All of this is something I am sharing with you because I want you to search your own story. Find out where you are hiding from fear and what that fear is about. Our entire world is built on and ruled by fear – fear that there is not enough, fear of differences and mainly, a fear that none of us will ever be enough. The media and governments keep this fear alive and use it to their advantage. The only way to keep the majority of people under the control of an elite few is to frighten the masses. Once they are sufficiently frightened, then this elite can swoop in and assure the panicked ones that they have an answer. The truth is that there is no real answer except to realize that there is really nothing to fear. Failing that, the elite few will always retain the power and it is in their best interest to maintain the illusion of fear so that the masses will remain submissive.

What are the results of fear in a society? I have already discussed control and anger. The other problem is judgment. People who are fearful are constantly working to identify a possible threat and that is usually other people. In order to stay one step ahead of the threat, we need to know what that threat is or who it is and what that person or persons is about. So we judge. We size them up to see if we can take them on or do we need to run away (fight or flight).

Often times, we first try to use ego to overpower our fear; in an effort to fool ourselves into thinking we are not the ones with a problem, we focus on others and judge continuously. By doing this, we always can blame someone else for our lack of power in life...we are the victim. Unfortunately, after a period of time, we find that we are not receiving the same satisfaction or escape from this pattern and we are forced once again, to look at ourselves.

I have also watched people acquire and hoard money in an attempt to control or diffuse their fear. The idea being that if they have enough cash flow, they will never be in a position to face something they cannot control or fix; however, this again is just avoiding the inevitable. There is never enough money to keep bad things from happening in life.

Control, anger, judgment, etc. all of these are very low frequency emotions. When we stay in anger, judgment and fear, we are vibrating as energy at a very low rate; this is what can cause illness in the body after a period of time. I would venture to say that, like me, most of my clients are incredible perfectionists who control every part of their lives as a result of the terrible fear they are living in.

Most importantly, fear and love are diametrically opposed. One cannot live in both at the same time. As long as you are running from or not facing your fear, you will never be able to truly find and stay in love. You might experience love for a period of time and during that time you will have raised your vibration high enough to feel that you are free from your fear, but it cannot last. Eventually, that fear will show itself and cause you to plummet to a low frequency once again. The two simply cannot occupy the same space for any length of time. Unfortunately, fear has been given so much power in most of our lives that it will win out.

When we have established a pattern over a lifetime, that pattern, even if it is detrimental to us, becomes familiar and what we know; leaving that well worn path can be more frightening and painful than the pain we are experiencing from the pattern itself and that is most often why people do not change. It is only through inspiration or desperation that we are prone to seek out a different way of being.

There are lots of resources out there that promise to help you eliminate fear! I have read and tried to use many of them, but to no avail. Change can happen in an instant, but it is the time leading up to that instant that usually takes the longest! People will change for one of two reasons – inspiration or desperation. In my case, sometimes it takes a bit of both!

Today, the fear was too great for me to continue the way I was going. I have developed heartburn which I have never had before. I am grinding my teeth and experiencing stomach pains. All the result of fear. Something had to change, but what? Finally, that small voice gave me the way...”Walk through your fear, beginning to end. See just what you are afraid of if you run out of money or don't have enough money.”

I forced myself to walk through this entire fear from beginning to end. What was I really afraid of? Am I more afraid of asking for help and appearing to be unsuccessful to my family or what is the fear really about? I thought it through slowly and in detail, from beginning to end – no money, becoming homeless, being afraid of living alone on the streets, being attacked, dying on the streets...Wait a minute, dying on the streets. And then, hit me! If the end result either way was death (from dying on the streets or suicide) what was the big deal? Just what was I so afraid of?

I was afraid of being afraid! That was it! And that was all it fear of my fear! Once I saw this and felt it inside my essence, all the fear that I had kept for years just drained out of my body and as it did, I was lighter, relieved of all that burden!

So...there you have it. Fear of Fear! Remember when we were kids and there was a monster under the bed or in the closet? It inevitably grew larger and larger if we stayed in our beds and did not face it. But, once we found the flashlight and summoned up our courage to get out of bed, we found there was no monster at all – we had been afraid of being afraid!

I urge you all to take time to journal, draw or talk about your fear. Identify it...keep searching until you really, really find what it is you are afraid of and then walk it through from beginning to end. What is the absolute worst case scenario? See all of it in detail and when you get to the end, ask yourself if that worse case scenario is really all that bad?

David Hawkins in Power vs. Force states that every fear boils down to the fear of death. Once we eliminate that fear, we can be free from all the other fears in our life. Think about it...really digest that fear that you carry and decide if it is worth lugging it around or if maybe, just maybe you are only afraid of being afraid. And if so, then get out of bed and shine a light on that monster. I assure you, it will disappear instantly!

And the most beautiful part of eradicating fear? Faith. Once you allow that fear to drain out of your body, you can then fill up that space with faith and all that brings – blessings, comfort and miracles. Not a bad trade!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Akashic Field & Spirit Guides - An Explanation

This is one of the best descriptions of the Akashic Field (records) and how spirit guides work that I have read...take a look!! Namaste.

The Awakening - Akashic Records

Monday, August 16, 2010

Derek Redmond 1992- Never give up!! .mp4

Someone was kind enough to send this to me when I was having doubts...I share this with you because it says more than I could ever say in words. You are enough, you are loved and you must finish your race - never quit before the miracle. Namaste.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Some of my best friends and helpful healers in their own right!

Cashew the Kitty Kat (Maine Coon rescue) and Zen Meditator!!
I am sooo relaxed....this is the life.
Wilbur (belongs to couple in the front house)
I love my pink Easter Bunny, so snuggly.
(Cashew the Kitty Kat - Mom's best friend)
 (Cashew the Kitty Kat)

Nick Vujicic :: Attitude is Altitude :: No Arms, No Legs, No Worries

As many of you know, I have been struggling recently with my work and wondering whether or not I can continue due to not having financial resources after years of illness and then a sinking economy. In addition, I also battle my family who do not understand or support my work since I am not making ends meet most of the time. Last night was particularly difficult as I experienced a truly "dark night of the soul" and was not sure how I would be able to get through this week...This morning I woke up to my newsletters and emails and knew that God was walking right next to me! In one email, there was a link to Nick Vujicic who is a motivational speaker born without arms or legs!!! That's right...I was humbled and so blessed to find this as one of my emails! The other message was a regular newsletter speaking about a young girl of 10 yrs who is an opera singer and recently hit the big time on television and YouTube. Many people are incredibly hostile about this little girl who only wants to bring joy to those who hear her sing. The newsletter explained how hard it is for people who have a higher vibration in the world...they are often attacked by those with a lower vibration because those with a lower vibration are physically uncomfortable around people who vibrate at a higher frequency. The deeper message was about following your passion even in times of great doubt and distress. WOW! Once again, God was walking right beside me even when I wanted to quit the path!

Please take a look at this young man...he will inspire you and help you continue your struggle towards healing on any level...Namaste my friends.

Nick Vujicic :: Attitude is Altitude :: No Arms, No Legs, No Worries

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Diving into the Deep End of Faith

In the last few months there has been a great deal of activity on an energy level. We are approaching a galactic alignment that only happens once in many thousands of years as well as experiencing a shift from the Age of Pisces into the Age of Aquarius. All of this has had an effect on humans, especially those of us who are extremely sensitive, intuitive and empathic. Woe to you if like me, you are all of these!

I have been struggling a great deal with my human ego side! Add to that a birthday this past week and I was almost completely undone by it all. My birthday was lovely although I had a bit of a meltdown when I received gifts of clothing which I had specifically told my family NOT to buy for me. Ever since the RSD and fibromyalgia, I have struggled with regulating my temperature and unfortunately, the struggle continues. I am unable to wear heavy materials or long sleeves unless they are cotton and somewhat loose; otherwise, I will get very warm and cannot cool off unless there is a walk in freezer nearby!

I felt that I had been exceptionally clear with my family about this, but apparently I was not heard. Needless to say, that has been the story my entire life so by the end of the weekend, stick a fork in me, I was done! I began to cry and let out years of anger at my family for all the perceived injustices done to and against me!

In addition to the birthday upset, I have tried for quite a while to include my family in my work.
Because they are not at all spiritual, they will not even attempt to understand what I do and they continue to hope and suggest that I will find a normal job! It has become so stressed that when we gather for family celebrations, no one will talk to me about anything because they are so fearful of opening up the can of worms called “Awaken to Spirit”.

My recent financial strain has also made life downright difficult. I have always had an unhealthy relationship to money. As a young person, I saved everything without know why I was saving it! I never understood that money must circulate to be useful or to even grow. My father was a child of the depression and as such, he learned that one must get a graduate degree or doctorate (He is an Oral Surgeon), work at a job for many years (even if you hate it) invest wisely and retire. Additionally, I always felt that we were controlled by money because my father wanted us to have everything that he never had as a child; unfortunately, my perspective was so different from his because I grew up in the 1970's!

After graduating from college and really not knowing who I was or what I was supposed to do, I ended up in a series of boring, go-nowhere jobs. I started my own business which was very successful but I did not understand anything about money at that time, so I became bored and ended up leaving that business for work in the film industry. Then I got sick and was unable to work for almost ten years. At the end of my illness I had lost everything. By the beginning of my forties, I had total poverty consciousness.

When I started working in healing and spirituality, I was convinced I had found my passion and because of this, I would not have any money problems from here on out! I did find my passion, but I was still operating from a place of fear and poverty consciousness when it came to money. I was forced to ask my father to loan me money and this did nothing to help our relationship. I understand completely why he would prefer that I work in a job with benefits and a retirement plan; however, I simply do not do well in that environment. The main point I am trying to make is this: by borrowing money from my father, I ended up taking on his belief system of fear and doubt. This was not intentional but I felt so guilty having to ask for money that I behaved as if I was less than. I did not want to behave as if I were prosperous because that would have been unfair to my father. But, that is exactly what I should have done! By acting as if I were less than and living in poverty consciousness, I kept attracting that same thing to me over and over again and that was more poverty and more less than belief.

As of Monday, I was in a very depressed place. Without understanding that my perspective was off and that my belief system was faulty, I began to blame my dad and my brother. I entertained the idea of severing my relationship with them in order to have the peace of mind and confidence to continue on with my own life and choices; however, doing this never felt right to me. I have always felt sad when hearing about families that do not speak or children that have no relationship to their parents. My mother passed away in 1991 of a sudden heart attack in her sleep and this was devastating to me. Because of this, I have tried even harder to have a bond with my dad and my brother; however, we are so different that this has not been easy.

I spoke with a close friend who wisely encouraged me to celebrate myself and slowly ween myself away from these negative influences. Unfortunately, I am an all or nothing kind of human when I am in my ego mindset, so I kept hearing that I needed to cut the cord and get away from these horrid folks!! Once I got quiet and sat in meditation and prayer, everything settled down. My chatter was able to go away and the hurt and anger I was rolling in also left!

Yesterday as I finished a third day of intense prayer and meditation, my epiphany came! I did not need to sever my relationship to either my father or my brother. What I needed to sever was the belief system I continued to carry around with me that was associated with my past. I was allowing myself to be hurt and upset by their lack of understanding because I was still believing the little girl part of me that said I AM NOT ENOUGH! I was not approaching the problem from a place of wholeness and divinity. I was trying to solve the problem from a very low frequency of human ego, pride and fear. As Einstein has so brilliantly said: A problem cannot be solved by the same vibrational frequency that created it – one must raise the frequency in order to find the solution and then apply it. (I am paraphrasing here)

I had placed all my eggs in the basket of needing approval from my father and brother thinking that if they did not support me emotionally and otherwise in my work, then that must mean something was wrong with me! I even went so far as to believe that their negativity was ruining my business! This was not conscious on my part. I was not walking around outwardly knowing that I was “less than”, but I was going through all the motions of life with this tiny, but powerful belief buried deep in my subconscious. This negative programming was affecting every aspect of my life.

Until I realized that I had placed more power in the approval of my family rather than giving ALL my power to faith and belief in God/Source/Creator, I was causing my own downfall. I was not terribly happy or content each day. My finances were a source of extreme stress. I was living in memories of the past when life was easier or I was projecting into the future waiting for a day when everything would be less of a struggle for me. I felt incredibly alone and isolated – often disappointed by others.

Now, all of this I knew was not my normal state of being. I have done enough work to know that something was off, but I was not sure what it was. I asked for guidance and clarity and boy did I get them! Once I saw that I was living in faith but only on the EDGE of it, I knew that it was time to dive into the deep end of faith and trust pool.

Years ago, I had a dream where I was riding a mule up the side of a steep, steep mountain that came to a plateau at the top. A group of us were on the experience and at the top of the mountain, we would leave our mule and walk to the edge of the mountain where we would jump off and make it safely to the bottom! When it was my turn, I found every excuse or reason NOT to go the edge and jump. Suddenly, in my dream there was a gift shop at the top where I could wander around and buy trinkets – which I did! In the entire dream, I was never able to take the leap of faith and jump. That dream has stayed with me all this time because I knew it was symbolic for me...I always knew that I would have to finally take that plunge and TRUST that I would be fine.

So today, I am diving into the middle of my faith and trusting solely in my oneness with God! I am leaving behind my past and ALL the beliefs that went with it. I feel as if my spiritual growth has taken a quantum leap in one day! I am living for today in the NOW of total freedom and love rather than recreating yesterday with past resentment or trying to predict tomorrow with fear of the future!

On a financial note, I have chosen to not go to my father for help when I need money. Instead, I am working on manifesting the money from Source/God/Creator because after all, God is the most qualified financial planner there is! This is a huge step for me as it regards faith. I did not realize that by taking the “safe” route and asking my father for help, I was literally saying to God “I don't trust you” and “I don't trust me”...In not trusting, I also was then opening myself up to negative energy and beliefs that were never my own.

By taking this leap of faith and releasing my need for approval and resources from my family, I have released all the resentment that I was storing within me. I am so grateful to my father for what he has done to help me and I am more grateful to him and my brother for what they have taught me. They agreed in spirit to often play the bad guys in my life out of their deep love for me so that I would learn some of my greatest lessons – what a sacrifice!

The following are two powerful lessons that I learned in the last few days:

Freedom is only attainable when living in the moment surrounded with and giving love.

No one has ever done anything to have allowed it to be done to you and if it happened, you attracted it or needed it for soul growth. (I AM University)

My mantra for today and everyday from now on is: “Thy will, not mine be done. Thank you for the lesson.” (Paul Solomon)


PS..Let me explain what I believe an “epiphany” is. Put simply, they are moments when we look at something from an entirely new perspective and this gives us a true sense of understanding and freedom. So, in my case, although I have dealt with family issues and poverty consciousness for years, I was suddenly able to SEE both problems from an entirely new point of view! By doing this, I could also see the perfect's as if I simply moved out of my own shadow so I could see the panorama through sunlight more clearly! And what a view I finally had!!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Some Thoughts on Healing & Living

For some reason, I have been having a writers block! However, these are some thoughts and epiphanies that have come to me in the last week...I share them with you and hope they help you navigate a sometimes winding, twisting path in life.


I have been reminded of probably my greatest challenge in life and that is to live in faith when everything in my being wants to take over and live in my intellect or react from my emotions!

So what is this thing we call faith? In the King James Version of the Bible, Hebrews 11:1 says this:
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

This is a tall order...believing that what we desire will happen even when we cannot see the proof of it coming to us. Most of us have trouble with this. We are far more comfortable being intellectual and educating ourselves on issues so that we can make sound decisions. Unfortunately, what I see in the world is that most of us continually feel we have made the wrong decisions in life and we are held hostage not only by these decisions, but by the consequences of them as well. All the education and knowledge in the world does not guarantee that our choices will turn out the way we expect them to or guarantee us that we have made the RIGHT decision.

I struggle constantly with this very issue. I say that because as much work as I have done on myself, there are still issues and patterns that arise which I need to uncover and discard. This is a process and one that has no graduation date! Probably my greatest test of faith has to do with keeping myself afloat financially while working with people who are themselves struggling emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially. This is not an easy economy in which to have a spiritual and healing practice; often times at the end of the month or a week before that, I am deciding if I should pay for gas or food.

Today I was in a place of fear about money and after a short burst of tears, I became still and quiet. I listened for guidance and answers - within moments they came! I heard the words “God is your business manager.” Now how in the world can I fail if the Creator of this remarkable Universe is in charge of making sure I can pay my rent, buy food and put gas in my car?

My experience with faith has been that the more I trust in my God, the more I find that I am ONE with this power. Just as is taught, the Kingdom of God is within me. When I place my trust and faith in this power and surrender all the results, not only is my fear stripped away, but I am given opportunities to experience my Oneness with God all the time. I can think of no better reward!

For me, faith means that I get out of my heads (thoughts) and out of my heart (emotions) so that I may reconnect to spirit; by so doing, I reconnect to that awesome energy and force that created this Universe. From this place, I get the big guns of information for download!


I ask almost everyone I work with if they believe in God, a Creator, a Source or a Higher Power. Inevitably, everyone says, “oh yes, I do.” But, when I ask them what that higher power is or looks like to them, they stare at me as if I have two heads!

It is not enough, especially when one is ill or in a challenging place, to have a vague notion of a higher power. After all, if you needed a doctor, you would see that image in your minds eye, then do your research and find a doctor. You would not just walk around looking for someone who kind of resembled a doctor, maybe or hopefully!! So, when you need a force that can help you really heal and not just treat your symptoms, why is it enough to just kind of, maybe, once in a while, think about God or this Power?

Take time to form a picture and a resume of what this power, force, energy or being is to you. This is YOUR higher power and he/she/it can be anything and anyone you choose it to be. Create a detailed picture in your mind. Form an intimate relationship with this amazing, infinite power because when you need a lot of help, this is the place you want to be.

I have said this before and I will keep saying it, my God is my best friend, my advisor, my counselor and my advocate (and now my business manager!). I talk with God all day long and ask for clarity, miracles and guidance. Not only do I talk and ask, but I KNOW without any doubt that all the answers are on a blackboard right in front of me and all I really am asking for is a new pair of glasses so that I can read everything more clearly. I work very hard at always going into my sidebars with God having trust! This is the power that created the Universe and keeps it going – how could I doubt that?

So...when you get really serious about deep healing on a physical, emotional and spiritual level, you must get to know the power and force that you believe created all of this awesome stuff! That way, when you go to this power, you know the outcome is going to be just as awesome and amazing!

P.S. The additional benefit to this is the following: when you have a higher power or God like this, you no longer need to rely solely on humans for help. I think we all know how hard it is when we are suffering and chronically ill or in pain for a long period of time. We don't want to be a burden and yet, we need to know that we are not alone. Having this relationship with God/Creator/Source will offer you a place of refuge and give those humans in your life a chance to step back once in a while and see that you are really and truly something beautiful and perfect to behold as you take your healing to a new level! And who knows? Maybe you will end up giving your human friends some pretty amazing counsel as well!

As you begin to form a relationship with your God or higher power, you will be amazed at all the opportunities you are given to surrender your will to this force. When you finally experience what it is like to live in this surrender and without fear, you will live a life you cannot dream of!

EGO (Edging God Out)

When working towards any kind of healing be it emotional, physical or spiritual, one must begin to identify how ego works in his/her life. When I speak of ego, I am not talking about the “I am just so great” idea of ego, but the part of a person that sees him or her as separate from others and from God, the part of the person that wants to remain in control all the time and never surrender the results to any unknown outcome. Ego is also the part of us that judges ourselves and others as well as the part that cannot forgive ourselves or others. Ego is also the part of us that lives in fear.

I have come to believe that I became sick with fibromyalgia, endometriosis and RSD all at the same time because I needed to wake up and answer God's call! Although I had spent most of my life knowing that God existed as an infinite, loving and powerful force, I did not trust that this God cared about me specifically. I had been in a great deal of fear for most of my life and as an intelligent woman, I learned that controlling everything was my only technique for combatting this fear. Unfortunately, this did not work well and caused me to become more fearful, more controlling and more judgemental.

When I was finally faced with losing the use of my legs altogether, I unplugged my ears, put my ego on hold and heard the still, small voice that had been calling me for years.

Since that day, my life has changed in ways I can hardly imagine. No, I am not wealthy beyond belief and I have not met the love of my life...but, I am healed inside and out and that is priceless. I learned to forgive myself and those around me for everything that I had seen as some slight against me.

Not only was I able to forgive, but I was able to see how I had taken every incident in my life and made it ONLY about me – even when it was clearly about someone or something totally unrelated to me! Releasing the need to always be center stage was such a relief! I had always admired those people who could go into a crowd of people and sit quietly and at ease amongst them because I was never able to do that – today I am free to just be still amidst the chaos and noise and it is wonderful!

Just as important, I am able to take every challenge that in the past might have unhinged me and see that it is a lesson to help me grow. When I approach difficulties in this way, they are no longer roadblocks but they become roadsigns directing me where I need to focus and change. As I rely on my Creator to help me, we both move towards another place of learning and healing...again, this is a process that I could not live without!


Ok..let's get this straight right now...forgiveness is NOT about condoning bad behavior! Most people that I work with cannot forgive someone because they feel that if they do then that will mean they accept what was done to them. That is not it at all. Forgiveness is about releasing the toxic energy that the incident created within you; after all, it is doubtful that the person who slighted you is carrying around hurt and resentment! So, you must learn to forgive, if nothing else than to allow your body the freedom from ever carrying any negative or dark energy within it again.

If you have a hard time with forgiveness, you must ask God/Source/Creator or your higher power to help you. Ask for guidance on this. Ask to have the negativity released from within you. Ask for a way to find forgiveness for someone. God knows what you need and will always provide when asked.

Today, I began to think about an exchange that happened on an online community forum. I was really put out by the negativity and judgement that was going back and forth until it hit me square in the chest: the experience or the reality is literally created by the observer. Therefore, no one but the observer will have that specific reality or experience; if that is the case, then I have no way of truly knowing what you are experiencing (seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting or smelling) because as you are the observer of YOUR reality, your experience by definition MUST BE completely different from mine!

This is just beautiful because it releases us from every having to engage in judgement. If we can never know what anyone else is actually experiencing, because it is unique only to them, then how in the world can we judge it? If we did have the guts to make a judgement, we would be doing so from a place of total ignorance!

The moment I really “got it” gave me immense freedom. I think most of us are judgemental even when we don't think we are being so. I know I am and often I catch myself about 10 or 15 minutes into it before I realize what I am usually goes like this: “So and so did this to me or said this to me and I just cannot understand why they said it. I mean if they know me at all, then they know that they should not have said or done that because it is incredibly hurtful. Why in the world are they not treating ME the way they would want to be treated?'

On and on it can go if I let my mind have free reign. But now, I know...they may have said or done something based on an experience or reality that I am unable to fully experience in the same way. For this, I cannot pass judgement.

Now here is where this gets really cool! If we eradicate judgement, then we begin to vibrate at a higher frequency that is more based in and aligned with love. As we do this and others also do this, then we are becoming more and more alike or in tune with each other; the byproduct of this is that our experiences will become more similar and we will become more as one or of like thought! (and being of like thought is what we have been wanting all along!)


This is a tough world to navigate when one is healthy. It is even harder when one is sensitive, empathic and vulnerable. Add to that a chronic illness or pain and it is nearly impossible. Everything we go through in this life is teaching us something. Usually we are learning how to love ourselves and others without ego, expectation or judgement.

I often find that people either really love me or they really hate me – there is no in between. When I come across those who hate me, they often go out of their way to be cruel and hurtful; I never understsood this and recently ask God if I was being punished for something. What I heard astounded me! A voice that was so clear said the following: “Little One, this is not punishment for you. This is your opportunity to show those who need it most how to live a life centered in God and Christ Consciousness. You have many opportunities to show others how to live in love and in light. This is your blessing, Little One.”

A few days after that happened, I read a timely piece on why there are people in our life who cause us pain. I am pasting it here for you as it says perfectly what I want to share!

The Awakening: Vicky Anderson

"At this level, all thought waves that are not wanted are not merely pushed away, but rather, our mind is transformed and our perspectives are shifted.  This is one of the biggest shifts people will experience during humanity's current evolution.  We must come to understand that the events that cause our emotional issues are deliberately orchestrated by our Spirit.  This is done as part of the Divine plan, both for our own growth and for the growth of humanity.

Many of our thoughts are not from our own mind.  So the people who cause your unwanted emotional issues are not really responsible for their actions at all.  It is their compassionate Spirit who, from the soul level, agrees for them to play the 'bad guys' in each of the karmic dramas in your life.  And your Spirit also agrees for you to play the 'bad guy' from time to time, so they too can grow emotionally and spiritually.  Both of these Spirits, yours and theirs, love you more than you can know.

The minute we release the grudges we hold toward these people for playing their part in our dramas, our sub-conscious mind can inform our Spirit that these grudges no longer have a hold on us.  That’s when our Spirit opens for us a direct line of communication with God."

This is such an important place for us to be able to get to...a direct line of communication with God/Creator/Source or Higher Power.

Your God wants this for all of us. Get to know your God or higher power and find out what special blessings you are being given. As you do, you will heal because you will release those things which is of human creation that keeps us separated from our Oneness with our God.


People will often use the argument that there is no God because there is so much negativity, illness and horror in this world. I have learned that everything which is negative in this world is man-made, not God made! God wants us to be abundant, prosperous and healthy. Only man can create limits, poverty and disease. If we are aligned with and remember our Oneness with Source, then we do not have to experience the darkness of humanity. We can be free, healthy and at peace to live always in the Light. Namaste.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Importance of True Healing

I was reminded today of why it is so important to do true healing at some point in ones life. Many people believe that therapy and coming to terms with some issue in their lives is enough. I do not.

I believe that therapy can help us identify problems and issues. In other words this process may uncover and discover problems within; however, I am not convinced that therapy helps us rid (discard) ourselves of the negative energy those issues carry with them. If we do not release this energy, it continues to bombard our bodies with negative destruction over and over again, eventually causing the body to enter a state of “dis-ease”.

I have spoken with and worked with so many people who have had years of therapy and while many of them are able to freely express themselves and the problems they have identified and worked on, they continue to hold the dark energy of those problems within their spirits and bodies. Ultimately, they have not healed the issue; rather, they have only found a place for it that is emotionally manageable. When a mind, body and spirit (as one) have not fully healed something, it can continue to fester and attract more negativity to itself, eventually causing illness. This is clearly something that must be avoided.

Energy work and spiritual healing, when done correctly, guides a person towards completely uncovering, discovering and discarding those problems, beliefs and issues that have found their way into our subconscious and conscious minds over time. The person can be walked through a process of releasing not only the problem but the power or energy that problem holds within the person's body, mind and spirit.

Additionally, by seeing all problems or issues as spiritual lessons or teachings, the person is often able to turn somethng that has been a lifelong negative into a true positive, learning so much from the experience that they never again need face that same issue again! This is true enlightenment and a skill that once learned can be used effectively towards healing future problems. I cannot think of anything more empowering that being able to take something that has the potential to destroy, remove its power and turn it on its head so that it becomes a gift of growth and perhaps inspiration!

I was having a discussion (unfortunately only by email) with someone I do not know who was very angry with me. I had attempted to explain my history and background in an effort to illustrate why I approached a certain social problem from a unique perspective. My perspective seemed to cause her great distress! When I mentioned that I had healed myself of three different diseases and that this journey created this new perspective, she shot back that she “knew all about self-healing” as her husband had done specific back exercises with great success. While I understood her point, I could only note the deep anger that was being held within this woman who may know all there is to know about self-healing from her husband's perspective, but has no idea about releasing that energy from her own body, mind and spirit..

I was profoundly sad for her because I knew that had she spent any time at all on her own spiritual healing, she would have released the anger she carried within herself and used toward others when it was unecessary to do so. When we target others with our own anger, we usually end up causing ourselves far more distress than we cause the other person. The negativity of this anger leaves us momentarily thereby giving us a false sense of release and then returns to us exponentially larger as it now carries with it the negativity from the person it was directed towards as well as any stray dark energy it gathered from the collective unconscious while on its journey.

Releasing toxic energy from our bodies is the only way to be sure that we no longer will suffer the ill effects of its toxicity. This is what true healing is all about. Releasing this negative energy and allowing the body to come back to balance and restore itself from “dis-ease” to ease and wholeness.

Lastly, I want to address the many requests I receive from individuals who would like me to solve a painful problem in one email. While true healing and profound enlightenment can and often does happen in an instant, the process leading up to that instant involves time. We live in a world that provides us instant access to almost everything and unfortunately, this has led us to believe that anything that takes time is boring, unworthy or outdated. Spiritual growth and healing of the body, mind and spirit is not a destination but an exciting lifelong journey that should be treated with great reverence, not as a download or update of software. If you find someone who is willing to give you instant advice without taking into account how you arrived at the problem you are now facing, you have cheated yourself of some important learning; this is invaluable information which might possibly prevent you from more searing pain in the future. Anytime we do not learn our lessons from one experience, we become destined to repeat the lesson with higher stakes in the future!

There is a process to doing this and all of us who work with clients probably approach the journey in very different ways. The main concern is that you are on your own journey towards healing and wholeness and not walking the path of your healer; he or she has done his/her own journey and should not need you to validate it. Be prepared that deep healing is not always comfortable, easy or quick. It is not about you receiving only nurturing; is is only about you becoming whole again. Growth is often painful but oh, so worth it!!! As my wonderful and enlightened friend would say, “Happy Healing!”

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Are You Overly Sensitive?

Over these last few posts, I have mentioned that I am someone who is very sensitive. A lot of you seemed to identify with being sensitive as well. I have found in my work that many people who are dealing with chronic pain issues or autoimmune disease are also incredibly sensitive and empathic (they feel other peoples feelings without having been told what the person is experiencing).

Because of this, I want to take a minute to explain a little more about what we as sensitives deal with on a daily basis. Those of us who are sensitive often do not realize that we feel and take on OTHER people's feelings, fears, physical illnesses, etc. without knowing that we have done this. On top of that, if we are empathic and intuitive, we can be bombarded by the fears, anxieties and depression of the collective unconscious; often times, we will end up in bed not understanding why we are so unhappy when nothing specific has happened to us. We do not see that we have internalized a wave or field of emotion and energy that we did not produce. Consequently, it is imperative that we find a way to distinguish between what is ours and what is theirs.

I was having a particularly emotional afternoon the other day for no particular reason. All of a sudden, I realized that I was experiencing a mood that was from others and most likely from their subconscious. For whatever reason, people in general were down that day or just a bit filled with anxiety and I was picking up on it. When I was clear that I was not really upset about any one thing in particular, I was able to allow the mish mash of feelings to just wash over me and then go – I recognized it and then allowed it to leave me. It was not mine to begin with, so I had no reason to hang on to it.

When I was younger, I did not understand this, nor did my family. I was so adept at feeling what others were feeling, that I could shift gears in a moment. This was very frightening for me and I am sure it caused my parents a great deal of concern since I was unable to articulate what was really going on. It has only been in the last ten years or so that I now know why this was happening to me and how to control it in a way that does not completely unhinge my life.

If you are a sensitive person, give yourself a break. Realize that you are very, very blessed even if you do not know that you just yet. When you feel something so intensely, ask yourself if this might be a feeling that others are sending out and not your own. If so, simply relax and acknowledge your ability to sense this; let the feeling simply be and then allow it to go away. It was never yours to begin with and now that you know this, you can just allow it to move on somewhere else.

Before you leave the house and you know you are going out somewhere with a lot of people around such as a mall, movie or concert, be sure to center yourself. Feel your feet on the floor (no rubber soles, please as that grounds your energy!) connect your feet down into the energy of the earth. Feel gratitude for Mother Earth or Gaia and your connection to her. Then visualize a beautiful white, silver or gold light coming up from your feet, through your body and out of your head into the heavens.

From here you are now connected to your Higher Power, whatever that is to you. Keep this connection and feel the amazing love and power that you are now plugged into. Once you feel this, allow that beautiful white, silver or gold light to surround you as well. See it keeping your protected and safe – you can always adjust it if you feel you cannot allow enough in. When you feel you are perfectly shielded, then you can go out and enjoy yourself without being overstimulated by others energy or emotions.

If for some reason you come home feeling overwhelmed despite your best efforts, then you can do two very easy and helpful things. One, light a candle and ask your Higher Power and your Spirit Guides to clear you of all outside negative or powerful energy and emotion that is not your own. See yourself clear and cleansed. Additionally, take a relaxing shower or bath and rinse away this extra energy or emotion! This will really help you...if you are somewhere where you cannot shower or bath, just splash water on your face and arms as a substitute! Always, always drink plenty of water to rinse out toxins that have found their way inside (it's also really good for your skin!)

There are also crystals which you can carry with you or wear that will assist with all of this; however, I am a strong believer that you must learn how to control and deal with this on your own first. By doing so, you may just find out some really neat things about yourself and your abilities as a sensitive! I did and am incredibly grateful for these gifts today.

Any questions my fellow sensitives and empaths? Just ask!

Monday, May 3, 2010

What You Think of Me is None of My Business and Why That is True!

I want to explain a little bit more about my “what you think of me is none of my business”philosophy. I call this my living free code, because when I live in this way, I am no longer bound by trying to get someone to like me or to agree with me.

Unfortunately for those of us who have had any therapy or read a self-help book in the last ten years, we have been told the exact opposite of this. Instead we have been trained to “find our voice” and “set appropriate boundaries” so that no one will have a chance to abuse us. We have had enough abuse in our lives, so will we not allow anyone to wipe their feet on us again! This is our new battle cry.

Now here comes someone like me telling you to take responsibility only for yourself and to stay out of other people's paths. Is she crazy? This flies in the face of all that we have learned and gained over the last few years!

I assure you, I am not crazy. I am completely sane and able to live a life that I once thought was only reserved for the happy few and that was clearly not me! I was at the mercy of what life gave me and each day I was barely existing.

Today however, I realize that life is never just dealt to us. Instead, we are co-creators and co-artists in painting or sculpting whatever masterpiece we choose! We can choose to paint by numbers or we can create our own Picasso, Rodin or Michelangelo! There is no limit to what we are able to experience!

This is how it works:

Each of us is born perfect and with a perfect, divine blueprint within. Unfortunately over time, we receive bits and pieces of information and plug into collective memories that are not perfect! Our hardware is perfect, but the software we acquire is not – it is full of viruses! Yet over the years, we begin to believe that the software is right and we or the hardware is flawed! More and more we begin to see what is not perfect about us and in doing so, we reject ourselves. As we further devalue ourselves, we become attracted to others much like us – flawed, hurt and angry people.

The only way out of this for good is to do a thorough cleaning of the hardware and software – we need to debug everything! We have to get rid of all the errors and collective harmful memories in order to reset ourselves to that perfect divine blueprint. Much of this can be accomplished with an inventory of ourselves and by examining the limiting beliefs we continue to use. (There are lots of techniques for doing this and I can write about those later.)

Once we do our cleaning and clearing, we are ready to go back to the beginning and discover who we really are. I have always believed that God does not make mistakes, so there is a good bet that God did not make any mistakes in creating me! I started by looking at those labels that I had been given early on in life. These labels usually spoke to something that was innate within me.

For example, I was very, very sensitive to everything and my family considered this a weakness. They believed that I needed thicker skin to navigate this world. I have said before that because of their interpretation of my sensitivity, I began to believe that something was wrong with me.

In order to find the truth about this, I decided to ask myself the following questions: “Why would God create me as such a sensitive being? Why does this world need sensitive people? How is sensitivity a positive and not a negative?” In trying to answer these questions, I discovered my intuitive, psychic and empathic gifts! These were traits or abilities that I had always had, but I had never embraced them as such due to my old beliefs.

I am also someone who has always loved people way past their “expired by” date! I am able to care for someone no matter what, even if I am being hurt! There was a book out many years ago titled “Women Who Love Too Much” and it portrayed women like me as weak! Once again, I asked myself why God created me with this quality. In answering this, I found that I am a natural born healer!

As I “re-raised” myself with compassion and understanding, I began to realize just how special I am and how much I value and like myself. I no longer see myself as wasted potential! Instead, I know myself to be a loving, kind and powerful spiritual being. I am not a mistake!

By doing this work, I began to love myself deeply. This love is so powerful a force that it completely shifted my energy and spiritual make-up, activating a magnet within me. This is a magnet which attracts only people and experiences into my life that are meant to further me as a loving spiritual being. The people I now meet are sensitive, loving, healing and kind! Before this when I did not like myself, I was a “creep magnet”! I could always attract those people who would prey on my deepest insecurities (hence why I needed boundaries and a voice!).

Today I no longer need to worry about attracting the wrong kinds of people or experiences into my life. That just does not happen unless there is some reason I need to do this. When this happens, it is because I have a new lesson to learn or there is another old belief still hiding!

If I find that I have attracted someone or something into my life that is reminiscent of my old belief system, I stop and look at what is going on. I do not get angry with myself or at the other person. Instead, I ask why I might have needed to bring this kind of person or experience into my life today. The answer will always come to me within a day or two! Usually it is in the form of an “Ah-ha” moment which allows me to release the person or experience instantaneously. Some call this process Uncover, Discover and Discard!

Today I live in total freedom. I take full responsibility for everything I think, I feel, I say and I do. If any one of those is off, it is my duty to set it right by doing the work; however, because I love who I am today, I am inspired to do the work and to make any changes necessary that will promote my spiritual growth. I have purpose in life and am passionate about who I am and what I do.

Years ago, some people who were trying to help me told me never to quit before the miracle! Today, I know what they meant by this and I am so glad that I took their advice! Please don't quit before your miracle.

Friday, April 30, 2010

You Are Perfect

I have been working with some people who have deeply impressed me with their committment to healing and change! They are amazing, powerful, kind, loving, and courageous just to name a few attributes! I have been overjoyed with how quickly they have embraced this work and made such huge strides in healing so that their lives will forever be those of guidance, growth and wellness. They will never again face difficulties as if they are being punished!  Anything that comes their way will be something they can navigate and they will know that it is there to teach them new lessons. (The good news is that you can learn how to do all of this as is not a secret!) What a blessing!

So, this being said and if I could waive a magic wand, what would I want for all of you right now in this moment?

I would want you to all know that you are PERFECT BEINGS! You are perfect spiritual beings having a beautiful human experience and even if your body is not perfect right now, it can be. Within you resides a perfect divine blueprint and it contains everything that you need in life. The lesson is to learn how to access these drawings and call them back into existence.

When you were born, you were (and still are) perfect. Unfortunately though, in today's world, we spend years being told that we don't know enough, we are not old enough, we must learn more, etc. At the same time, we are bombarded with media images of what is perfection - even if it means painful plastic surgery OR time spent with an airbrush and photoshop! Is it any wonder that most of us could not look ourselves in the mirror with love and acceptance? Rather, we would scrutinize every little bump or blight and wonder how we could get rid of what we don't like!

I spent the majority of my life performing for everyone as a daughter, student, friend, lover...whatever. I was a quick study and learned how to please people and that became my addiction. I was never comfortable with myself unless I was receiving positive feedback from others. I later learned that "people pleasing" is really manipulation as it does not allow the other person to react freely and openly to me.

Today, I have become quite comfortable knowing that what you think of me is none of my business! Now that does not mean that I am allowed to be unkind or abusive. It means that I will always behave and speak with the kindness and love I would want directed towards me, but I will allow you to react or perceive me in any way that you choose. If you don't like me, I will not take it personally ...that is your right and your choice. As long as I like myself and value the spiritual being within, I am fine.

Most importantly, I know I am a perfect spiritual being who will more than likely fall into human weakness in this body and experience that I am having; however, that does not make me any less perfect - it just makes me human as well! Whenever I am faced with something that is a problem, I remember that I am here to learn and to grow spiritually, so whatever I face is just making me do that very thing.

As a perfect being, I am also connected as one with God or Source. If there is a problem that overwhelms the human Lynn, I always trust that spiritual Lynn and her Source connection can find the answer. I relax, ask for help and then get out of the way. Because I trust that the answer is on its way to me as I am asking for it, I have never been disappointed by not receiving the answer or receiving the wrong one! This has been a miracle formula for me and one that I wish I had learned a long time ago!

So, to keep this short...please, please tonight as you put your head down on your pillow, see yourself as the beautiful, spiritual being of light and love that you are! Give yourself a few minutes to really feel this deep down. Feel gratitude for the wonderful traits that you have and may not celebrate enough! Treat yourself as your very best friend before you doze off....You are perfect in every way even if you don't know it just will.