Recently, I discovered that I had been “blocked” by someone on Facebook…not because I had done something inappropriate, but because I was being punished for something that I must have done and did not know about! That experience, coupled with the people I know who are having romantic relationships through text messaging, has compelled me to write this.
Have we really become so unable to communicate with people one on one that we have resorted to the counterfeit intimacy of texting and social networking sites? Is there any hope for a world without conflict when we are unable to put forth an effort to tell someone in person that we have been hurt by something they said or did? Are we now a world where we rely on “settings” to communicate for us? If we “block” someone, are we hoping that they will realize they have done something hurtful and then we won’t have to tell them?
I don’t like confrontation anymore than the next person. For years I tried to avoid having to speak up because I had spent years of my life not being heard; however, I had a huge epiphany one day as I stomped my feet over a co-worker’s bad behavior. I was so angry that she failed to do the right thing without being told! Then I started to wonder, why was I so upset by this? What she had done was irritating, but not horrible.
Boom… it hit me! I expected her to act appropriately because otherwise, I might just have to be uncomfortable and speak up! I hated confrontation so much that I just wanted everyone around me to behave so that I would be ok. The problem was not her behavior, it was my inability to speak to her without thinking it was a confrontation!
I needed to find a voice that was free of ego, expectation and judgment. I needed to find a way to speak truth with love, rather than be confrontational. The Universe was teaching me to find a respectful way of behaving and communicating with people.
I suspect that many of us have this same problem…unfortunately, the solution will not be found in retreating and hiding behind internet sites and their settings. All of us need to grow spiritually and emotionally within so that we can face our own fears and learn to speak up with kindness and love.
And finally, we must also realize that not being heard is really someone else’s problem …and that is something we cannot fix!