What You Think of Me is None of My Business and Why That is True!

I want to explain a little bit more about my “what you think of me is none of my business”philosophy. I call this my living free code, because when I live in this way, I am no longer bound by trying to get someone to like me or to agree with me.

Unfortunately for those of us who have had any therapy or read a self-help book in the last ten years, we have been told the exact opposite of this. Instead we have been trained to “find our voice” and “set appropriate boundaries” so that no one will have a chance to abuse us. We have had enough abuse in our lives, so will we not allow anyone to wipe their feet on us again! This is our new battle cry.

Now here comes someone like me telling you to take responsibility only for yourself and to stay out of other people's paths. Is she crazy? This flies in the face of all that we have learned and gained over the last few years!

I assure you, I am not crazy. I am completely sane and able to live a life that I once thought was only reserved for the happy few and that was clearly not me! I was at the mercy of what life gave me and each day I was barely existing.

Today however, I realize that life is never just dealt to us. Instead, we are co-creators and co-artists in painting or sculpting whatever masterpiece we choose! We can choose to paint by numbers or we can create our own Picasso, Rodin or Michelangelo! There is no limit to what we are able to experience!

This is how it works:

Each of us is born perfect and with a perfect, divine blueprint within. Unfortunately over time, we receive bits and pieces of information and plug into collective memories that are not perfect! Our hardware is perfect, but the software we acquire is not – it is full of viruses! Yet over the years, we begin to believe that the software is right and we or the hardware is flawed! More and more we begin to see what is not perfect about us and in doing so, we reject ourselves. As we further devalue ourselves, we become attracted to others much like us – flawed, hurt and angry people.

The only way out of this for good is to do a thorough cleaning of the hardware and software – we need to debug everything! We have to get rid of all the errors and collective harmful memories in order to reset ourselves to that perfect divine blueprint. Much of this can be accomplished with an inventory of ourselves and by examining the limiting beliefs we continue to use. (There are lots of techniques for doing this and I can write about those later.)

Once we do our cleaning and clearing, we are ready to go back to the beginning and discover who we really are. I have always believed that God does not make mistakes, so there is a good bet that God did not make any mistakes in creating me! I started by looking at those labels that I had been given early on in life. These labels usually spoke to something that was innate within me.

For example, I was very, very sensitive to everything and my family considered this a weakness. They believed that I needed thicker skin to navigate this world. I have said before that because of their interpretation of my sensitivity, I began to believe that something was wrong with me.

In order to find the truth about this, I decided to ask myself the following questions: “Why would God create me as such a sensitive being? Why does this world need sensitive people? How is sensitivity a positive and not a negative?” In trying to answer these questions, I discovered my intuitive, psychic and empathic gifts! These were traits or abilities that I had always had, but I had never embraced them as such due to my old beliefs.

I am also someone who has always loved people way past their “expired by” date! I am able to care for someone no matter what, even if I am being hurt! There was a book out many years ago titled “Women Who Love Too Much” and it portrayed women like me as weak! Once again, I asked myself why God created me with this quality. In answering this, I found that I am a natural born healer!

As I “re-raised” myself with compassion and understanding, I began to realize just how special I am and how much I value and like myself. I no longer see myself as wasted potential! Instead, I know myself to be a loving, kind and powerful spiritual being. I am not a mistake!

By doing this work, I began to love myself deeply. This love is so powerful a force that it completely shifted my energy and spiritual make-up, activating a magnet within me. This is a magnet which attracts only people and experiences into my life that are meant to further me as a loving spiritual being. The people I now meet are sensitive, loving, healing and kind! Before this when I did not like myself, I was a “creep magnet”! I could always attract those people who would prey on my deepest insecurities (hence why I needed boundaries and a voice!).

Today I no longer need to worry about attracting the wrong kinds of people or experiences into my life. That just does not happen unless there is some reason I need to do this. When this happens, it is because I have a new lesson to learn or there is another old belief still hiding!

If I find that I have attracted someone or something into my life that is reminiscent of my old belief system, I stop and look at what is going on. I do not get angry with myself or at the other person. Instead, I ask why I might have needed to bring this kind of person or experience into my life today. The answer will always come to me within a day or two! Usually it is in the form of an “Ah-ha” moment which allows me to release the person or experience instantaneously. Some call this process Uncover, Discover and Discard!

Today I live in total freedom. I take full responsibility for everything I think, I feel, I say and I do. If any one of those is off, it is my duty to set it right by doing the work; however, because I love who I am today, I am inspired to do the work and to make any changes necessary that will promote my spiritual growth. I have purpose in life and am passionate about who I am and what I do.

Years ago, some people who were trying to help me told me never to quit before the miracle! Today, I know what they meant by this and I am so glad that I took their advice! Please don't quit before your miracle.