THE REAL TRUTH

NOTE: This was first posted to Facebook in response to comments about the previoius blog post


Just wanted to shout out a huge thank you to all my FB buddies for your support and love.

However, I don't want the true point of my last post to be missed. Remember that the world and the people in it are a mirror to you..in other words, how you are treated, the things that are happening to you are simply a reflection of just how much you love and value yourself. 

When things go wrong, don't look for the answers outside of yourself. We all come into this world with contracts we made with our spirit guides and human relationships - we make these contracts so we can learn and grow in the ways we most need. Consequently, if life is getting bumpy, it is because you are being challenged to learn and grow - there is something you need to work on.

Have faith in this...get comfortable, quiet and ask for help. I guarantee you will receive it from God, your guides or angels (whatever you believe in). Listen for that still small voice that will tell you what this problem is trying to get you to learn...

Most importantly, no matter how bad it gets, do not be afraid. Fear is such a low energy that it can block out answers and that keeps the problems front and center. Release your fear, anger and resentment so that you can receive all your answers and all the help that you are meant to receive. 

We are never given more than we are capable of handling even when it seems like things are insurmountable. And, we are always, always loved and watched over so we are never alone. The best part of this is that we are self-correcting and made to heal!! The ride may be bumby but it is never dull!!!

Which Way is Your Journey?

Recently, I have been having a tough go of it.  And in the midst of this tough go, I met someone who was having a tougher go.  As she and I have been creating a friendship, a working relationship and more, we both realized something HUGE today!  We (all of us) never move backwards or more importantly, we never stop growing and learning!

Think about that, especially when you are stuck and feel stuck and even more stuck....you cannot stop or go backwards!  The Universe will not  permit it and the greater force (Creator/Source/God) has set it up so that the Universe is expanding and not retracting - therefore, it too cannot stop or turn around and go back.

This is a beautiful process....a remarkable journey that we are all on and as such, we continue moving through that journey, learning, growing and in our human words, we call that "forward". 

However, it is also a human construct to want to believe that backwards does exist.  In fact, we have even installed cameras in cars so that we can look forward but go backwards at the same time!  Again, totally impossible but our egos tell us we can and must, so that is what we do...all along, these egos prevent us from surrendering to the bigger lesson - that we are here in this dense Earth dimension to learn, to grow, to love and to surrender.

Once we have done this and learned the lessons for this lifetime, we are then moving onto a new process; unfortunately, we have labelled this "death" and considered it for too long an ending.  It is NOT an ending, but rather a shift to a new beginning in another form, which is why there is nothing to fear; yet, again as humans we figure out all kinds of ways to prolong life, even unnaturally - desperately fighting against the unknown with little or no faith that something greater than us put an amazing process into being and all we have to do is enjoy the ride!

So, when you have a bad time...when life is hard and seems to be getting harder, you have not failed.  You are not stuck - you are still learning and growing no matter what.  Allow yourself to relax and realize this from your new perspective...that you are moving in the direction you are meant to.  In doing so, in allowing, you become teachable again and that is all that matters.

Stay open, keep the faith and let yourself remain teachable...go with the flow and you cannot go wrong.

Namaste, fellow travellers.

The Importance of Being Fearless

The Importance of being Fearless


For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid. Afraid of something, but I don't always know what that something is. I only know that this fear has trapped me, influenced every decision and action in my life and come close to taking my life as well. I cannot count the opportunities I have missed or walked away from due to this fear.

Even as a very young child, I was tremendously afraid. I was terrified of sirens and other loud noises. 4th of July was my nightmare! Going to see fireworks nearly unhinged me. My first memory of kindergarten is of crying hysterically outside the door while my mom bargain and bribes me to let go of her and go inside! This separation anxiety never really left me and reared its ugly head at the most inopportune times, such as sleep overs – usually resulting in my calling my mom or dad to come pick me up from my friend's house in the middle of the night. When I was thirteen, we went to visit my mother's family in Kansas. I was such a trembling ball of fear that my uncle who was a good ole boy, hunter type with three girls and two boys, begged my family to send me to them for a summer so that he could “toughen me up”.

Lately, I have been in such fear of financial ruin that I have become almost paralyzed by it. Let me walk you through my crazy thought process based on this fear. I have had to borrow money to survive and each time I need to ask for help, I am almost physically ill. I put off asking until I am nearly on empty. I also fight with myself about why I am failing to manifest what I want and need in my life when I know how to do this. It seems that I am able to manifest almost everything, except complete financial independence. After I have struggled with myself over all of that, I go to a darker place. In this place, I see myself as a burden to my family and others. I am a failure of the highest proportion - someone who will never get out of this horrible cycle...I even fantasize about being gone – being done, so no one will have to bother with me anymore – so I will no longer be a burden. The cycle of fear, anger and punishment keeps itself going and going and going until there seems to be no way out other than something extreme.

Now given the work that I do and all that I know, you would think that I would naturally just fall back on my faith. Wrong! The other issue I was having was trying to replace this huge unidentified fear with a blanket of faith...this was not working either. I had read everything I could get my hands on and done all the exercises to try and overcome this issue with faith. But, my fear was so deeply embedded in me that until I really understood what I was afraid of, I could not simply try to overpower the fear with faith.

But, I digress...let me tell you the entire fear story....

Perhaps the worst part of being such a fearful child was learning how to manipulate others into giving me what I wanted and therefore never having to learn how to walk through that fear. I was always able to find a way to quit or stop short of having to face my fear and this behavior was usually supported by my mother; of course, she had no way of knowing that this would haunt me later in life. Long story short, I was overprotected and guarded my entire life. I never grew up, nor learned how to face life on my own in a complete and mature way. My fear kept me a child and as such, I stayed completely dependent on my family rather than finding my own family to start and work towards.

In order to deal with this fear, I learned to control every aspect of my life including people. I became the A+ student, the teacher's pet, the “people-pleaser”. Even though my peers were not that impressed, I knew I had to please the adults at all costs. In high school, I was blessed with swimming talent and became the first freshman to swim varsity that year, breaking records left and right. Suddenly, I was incredibly popular with teachers, parents and finally, my peers. When I lost a uniform sweater that I was particularly attached to, I formed an intention in my mind that I would, at all costs, find that sweater if it took me the entire year! It didn't and I did find it. I share this with you to illustrate just how controlling I was in an effort to avoid the fear that chased me.

Everything came unglued for me when I started college. My entire high school social life was focused on my boyfriend (a track star to my swimming star) who I met when I was fourteen. He was one year older and together, we were going to save the world or at least, save the youth in the world! We were focused, motivated and totally committed. When he left for college that year before me, I lost my focus and commitment. I stopped swimming, tried out for the senior play and made it, started dating someone who was considered a “bad boy” (but wasn't) and somewhere in there, I fooled myself into thinking that I had rid myself of that awful fear – finally!

But, fear is a tricky business. If you don't face it, you don't end it...you cannot run from it and you cannot hide from it. You might be able to lull it into a corner where it sits quietly waiting for you to forget it is there and that is exactly what I did. I forgot about it until it got tired of sitting in that corner.

When I went off to college, I was a prime target for that fear. I no longer had parents asking me to achieve something. I no longer needed to perform for my teachers and make them happy. I was enrolled at UC Berkeley where everyone, especially as a freshman, was anonymous. The school was too large for there to be any other arrangement. At the time, I didn't realize this, but every one of my reasons for being were gone and suddenly I was lost. I had no idea how to create a life for myself. Most importantly, I didn't really even know who I was or what I wanted because I had spent so much time being defined by the people that I could please.

Over time, controlling the fear didn't work anymore and I was becoming depressed, anxious and angry. I had found therapy and a way to blame all of this dysfunction on everyone else. Unfortunately, that approach never really worked and certainly didn't free me from the fear; it only made me angrier.

Most importantly, the amount of time that I dedicated to avoiding fear kept me from finding out who I was and what I really wanted in this world. That made me even angrier – but at whom?

When my mother died in 1991, I was thirty years old and convinced that my fear of losing her is what caused her to die young. I remember noticing when my mom died what an impression she had made on everyone. People who only knew her briefly cried about her passing; the sad thing is she never knew just how much her light shown in this world. You see, she was also living in fear. She lived in fear her entire life and as a consequence, she never realized just how special she was to this world.

I look back at my twenties and thirties and realize the same thing. Although I made a huge impact on certain people in my life, I could never enjoy who I was because I really did not believe I was enough. So by the time my mother died, I was already a wreck. Add in my even deeper depression and anger and I was just searching for any way out. I found it in illness and chronic physical pain. The answer I thought, was in treating that physical pain and illness with a correct diagnosis, appropriate medical intervention and, of course, mind-numbing narcotics. Once again, I found a way to sedate the fear and return it to the corner.

All of this is something I am sharing with you because I want you to search your own story. Find out where you are hiding from fear and what that fear is about. Our entire world is built on and ruled by fear – fear that there is not enough, fear of differences and mainly, a fear that none of us will ever be enough. The media and governments keep this fear alive and use it to their advantage. The only way to keep the majority of people under the control of an elite few is to frighten the masses. Once they are sufficiently frightened, then this elite can swoop in and assure the panicked ones that they have an answer. The truth is that there is no real answer except to realize that there is really nothing to fear. Failing that, the elite few will always retain the power and it is in their best interest to maintain the illusion of fear so that the masses will remain submissive.

What are the results of fear in a society? I have already discussed control and anger. The other problem is judgment. People who are fearful are constantly working to identify a possible threat and that is usually other people. In order to stay one step ahead of the threat, we need to know what that threat is or who it is and what that person or persons is about. So we judge. We size them up to see if we can take them on or do we need to run away (fight or flight).

Often times, we first try to use ego to overpower our fear; in an effort to fool ourselves into thinking we are not the ones with a problem, we focus on others and judge continuously. By doing this, we always can blame someone else for our lack of power in life...we are the victim. Unfortunately, after a period of time, we find that we are not receiving the same satisfaction or escape from this pattern and we are forced once again, to look at ourselves.

I have also watched people acquire and hoard money in an attempt to control or diffuse their fear. The idea being that if they have enough cash flow, they will never be in a position to face something they cannot control or fix; however, this again is just avoiding the inevitable. There is never enough money to keep bad things from happening in life.

Control, anger, judgment, etc. all of these are very low frequency emotions. When we stay in anger, judgment and fear, we are vibrating as energy at a very low rate; this is what can cause illness in the body after a period of time. I would venture to say that, like me, most of my clients are incredible perfectionists who control every part of their lives as a result of the terrible fear they are living in.

Most importantly, fear and love are diametrically opposed. One cannot live in both at the same time. As long as you are running from or not facing your fear, you will never be able to truly find and stay in love. You might experience love for a period of time and during that time you will have raised your vibration high enough to feel that you are free from your fear, but it cannot last. Eventually, that fear will show itself and cause you to plummet to a low frequency once again. The two simply cannot occupy the same space for any length of time. Unfortunately, fear has been given so much power in most of our lives that it will win out.

When we have established a pattern over a lifetime, that pattern, even if it is detrimental to us, becomes familiar and what we know; leaving that well worn path can be more frightening and painful than the pain we are experiencing from the pattern itself and that is most often why people do not change. It is only through inspiration or desperation that we are prone to seek out a different way of being.

There are lots of resources out there that promise to help you eliminate fear! I have read and tried to use many of them, but to no avail. Change can happen in an instant, but it is the time leading up to that instant that usually takes the longest! People will change for one of two reasons – inspiration or desperation. In my case, sometimes it takes a bit of both!

Today, the fear was too great for me to continue the way I was going. I have developed heartburn which I have never had before. I am grinding my teeth and experiencing stomach pains. All the result of fear. Something had to change, but what? Finally, that small voice gave me the way...”Walk through your fear, beginning to end. See just what you are afraid of if you run out of money or don't have enough money.”

I forced myself to walk through this entire fear from beginning to end. What was I really afraid of? Am I more afraid of asking for help and appearing to be unsuccessful to my family or what is the fear really about? I thought it through slowly and in detail, from beginning to end – no money, becoming homeless, being afraid of living alone on the streets, being attacked, dying on the streets...Wait a minute, dying on the streets. And then, BOOM...it hit me! If the end result either way was death (from dying on the streets or suicide) what was the big deal? Just what was I so afraid of?

I was afraid of being afraid! That was it! And that was all it was...my fear of my fear! Once I saw this and felt it inside my essence, all the fear that I had kept for years just drained out of my body and as it did, I was lighter, relieved of all that burden!

So...there you have it. Fear of Fear! Remember when we were kids and there was a monster under the bed or in the closet? It inevitably grew larger and larger if we stayed in our beds and did not face it. But, once we found the flashlight and summoned up our courage to get out of bed, we found there was no monster at all – we had been afraid of being afraid!

I urge you all to take time to journal, draw or talk about your fear. Identify it...keep searching until you really, really find what it is you are afraid of and then walk it through from beginning to end. What is the absolute worst case scenario? See all of it in detail and when you get to the end, ask yourself if that worse case scenario is really all that bad?

David Hawkins in Power vs. Force states that every fear boils down to the fear of death. Once we eliminate that fear, we can be free from all the other fears in our life. Think about it...really digest that fear that you carry and decide if it is worth lugging it around or if maybe, just maybe you are only afraid of being afraid. And if so, then get out of bed and shine a light on that monster. I assure you, it will disappear instantly!

And the most beautiful part of eradicating fear? Faith. Once you allow that fear to drain out of your body, you can then fill up that space with faith and all that brings – blessings, comfort and miracles. Not a bad trade!

Diving into the Deep End of Faith

In the last few months there has been a great deal of activity on an energy level. We are approaching a galactic alignment that only happens once in many thousands of years as well as experiencing a shift from the Age of Pisces into the Age of Aquarius. All of this has had an effect on humans, especially those of us who are extremely sensitive, intuitive and empathic. Woe to you if like me, you are all of these!

I have been struggling a great deal with my human ego side! Add to that a birthday this past week and I was almost completely undone by it all. My birthday was lovely although I had a bit of a meltdown when I received gifts of clothing which I had specifically told my family NOT to buy for me. Ever since the RSD and fibromyalgia, I have struggled with regulating my temperature and unfortunately, the struggle continues. I am unable to wear heavy materials or long sleeves unless they are cotton and somewhat loose; otherwise, I will get very warm and cannot cool off unless there is a walk in freezer nearby!

I felt that I had been exceptionally clear with my family about this, but apparently I was not heard. Needless to say, that has been the story my entire life so by the end of the weekend, stick a fork in me, I was done! I began to cry and let out years of anger at my family for all the perceived injustices done to and against me!

In addition to the birthday upset, I have tried for quite a while to include my family in my work.
Because they are not at all spiritual, they will not even attempt to understand what I do and they continue to hope and suggest that I will find a normal job! It has become so stressed that when we gather for family celebrations, no one will talk to me about anything because they are so fearful of opening up the can of worms called “Awaken to Spirit”.

My recent financial strain has also made life downright difficult. I have always had an unhealthy relationship to money. As a young person, I saved everything without know why I was saving it! I never understood that money must circulate to be useful or to even grow. My father was a child of the depression and as such, he learned that one must get a graduate degree or doctorate (He is an Oral Surgeon), work at a job for many years (even if you hate it) invest wisely and retire. Additionally, I always felt that we were controlled by money because my father wanted us to have everything that he never had as a child; unfortunately, my perspective was so different from his because I grew up in the 1970's!

After graduating from college and really not knowing who I was or what I was supposed to do, I ended up in a series of boring, go-nowhere jobs. I started my own business which was very successful but I did not understand anything about money at that time, so I became bored and ended up leaving that business for work in the film industry. Then I got sick and was unable to work for almost ten years. At the end of my illness I had lost everything. By the beginning of my forties, I had total poverty consciousness.

When I started working in healing and spirituality, I was convinced I had found my passion and because of this, I would not have any money problems from here on out! I did find my passion, but I was still operating from a place of fear and poverty consciousness when it came to money. I was forced to ask my father to loan me money and this did nothing to help our relationship. I understand completely why he would prefer that I work in a job with benefits and a retirement plan; however, I simply do not do well in that environment. The main point I am trying to make is this: by borrowing money from my father, I ended up taking on his belief system of fear and doubt. This was not intentional but I felt so guilty having to ask for money that I behaved as if I was less than. I did not want to behave as if I were prosperous because that would have been unfair to my father. But, that is exactly what I should have done! By acting as if I were less than and living in poverty consciousness, I kept attracting that same thing to me over and over again and that was more poverty and more less than belief.

As of Monday, I was in a very depressed place. Without understanding that my perspective was off and that my belief system was faulty, I began to blame my dad and my brother. I entertained the idea of severing my relationship with them in order to have the peace of mind and confidence to continue on with my own life and choices; however, doing this never felt right to me. I have always felt sad when hearing about families that do not speak or children that have no relationship to their parents. My mother passed away in 1991 of a sudden heart attack in her sleep and this was devastating to me. Because of this, I have tried even harder to have a bond with my dad and my brother; however, we are so different that this has not been easy.

I spoke with a close friend who wisely encouraged me to celebrate myself and slowly ween myself away from these negative influences. Unfortunately, I am an all or nothing kind of human when I am in my ego mindset, so I kept hearing that I needed to cut the cord and get away from these horrid folks!! Once I got quiet and sat in meditation and prayer, everything settled down. My chatter was able to go away and the hurt and anger I was rolling in also left!

Yesterday as I finished a third day of intense prayer and meditation, my epiphany came! I did not need to sever my relationship to either my father or my brother. What I needed to sever was the belief system I continued to carry around with me that was associated with my past. I was allowing myself to be hurt and upset by their lack of understanding because I was still believing the little girl part of me that said I AM NOT ENOUGH! I was not approaching the problem from a place of wholeness and divinity. I was trying to solve the problem from a very low frequency of human ego, pride and fear. As Einstein has so brilliantly said: A problem cannot be solved by the same vibrational frequency that created it – one must raise the frequency in order to find the solution and then apply it. (I am paraphrasing here)

I had placed all my eggs in the basket of needing approval from my father and brother thinking that if they did not support me emotionally and otherwise in my work, then that must mean something was wrong with me! I even went so far as to believe that their negativity was ruining my business! This was not conscious on my part. I was not walking around outwardly knowing that I was “less than”, but I was going through all the motions of life with this tiny, but powerful belief buried deep in my subconscious. This negative programming was affecting every aspect of my life.

Until I realized that I had placed more power in the approval of my family rather than giving ALL my power to faith and belief in God/Source/Creator, I was causing my own downfall. I was not terribly happy or content each day. My finances were a source of extreme stress. I was living in memories of the past when life was easier or I was projecting into the future waiting for a day when everything would be less of a struggle for me. I felt incredibly alone and isolated – often disappointed by others.

Now, all of this I knew was not my normal state of being. I have done enough work to know that something was off, but I was not sure what it was. I asked for guidance and clarity and boy did I get them! Once I saw that I was living in faith but only on the EDGE of it, I knew that it was time to dive into the deep end of faith and trust pool.

Years ago, I had a dream where I was riding a mule up the side of a steep, steep mountain that came to a plateau at the top. A group of us were on the experience and at the top of the mountain, we would leave our mule and walk to the edge of the mountain where we would jump off and make it safely to the bottom! When it was my turn, I found every excuse or reason NOT to go the edge and jump. Suddenly, in my dream there was a gift shop at the top where I could wander around and buy trinkets – which I did! In the entire dream, I was never able to take the leap of faith and jump. That dream has stayed with me all this time because I knew it was symbolic for me...I always knew that I would have to finally take that plunge and TRUST that I would be fine.

So today, I am diving into the middle of my faith and trusting solely in my oneness with God! I am leaving behind my past and ALL the beliefs that went with it. I feel as if my spiritual growth has taken a quantum leap in one day! I am living for today in the NOW of total freedom and love rather than recreating yesterday with past resentment or trying to predict tomorrow with fear of the future!

On a financial note, I have chosen to not go to my father for help when I need money. Instead, I am working on manifesting the money from Source/God/Creator because after all, God is the most qualified financial planner there is! This is a huge step for me as it regards faith. I did not realize that by taking the “safe” route and asking my father for help, I was literally saying to God “I don't trust you” and “I don't trust me”...In not trusting, I also was then opening myself up to negative energy and beliefs that were never my own.

By taking this leap of faith and releasing my need for approval and resources from my family, I have released all the resentment that I was storing within me. I am so grateful to my father for what he has done to help me and I am more grateful to him and my brother for what they have taught me. They agreed in spirit to often play the bad guys in my life out of their deep love for me so that I would learn some of my greatest lessons – what a sacrifice!

The following are two powerful lessons that I learned in the last few days:

Freedom is only attainable when living in the moment surrounded with and giving love.

No one has ever done anything to you...you have allowed it to be done to you and if it happened, you attracted it or needed it for soul growth. (I AM University)

My mantra for today and everyday from now on is: “Thy will, not mine be done. Thank you for the lesson.” (Paul Solomon)

Namaste!

PS..Let me explain what I believe an “epiphany” is. Put simply, they are moments when we look at something from an entirely new perspective and this gives us a true sense of understanding and freedom. So, in my case, although I have dealt with family issues and poverty consciousness for years, I was suddenly able to SEE both problems from an entirely new point of view! By doing this, I could also see the perfect solution....it's as if I simply moved out of my own shadow so I could see the panorama through sunlight more clearly! And what a view I finally had!!

Some Thoughts on Healing & Living

For some reason, I have been having a writers block! However, these are some thoughts and epiphanies that have come to me in the last week...I share them with you and hope they help you navigate a sometimes winding, twisting path in life.


FAITH

I have been reminded of probably my greatest challenge in life and that is to live in faith when everything in my being wants to take over and live in my intellect or react from my emotions!

So what is this thing we call faith? In the King James Version of the Bible, Hebrews 11:1 says this:
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

This is a tall order...believing that what we desire will happen even when we cannot see the proof of it coming to us. Most of us have trouble with this. We are far more comfortable being intellectual and educating ourselves on issues so that we can make sound decisions. Unfortunately, what I see in the world is that most of us continually feel we have made the wrong decisions in life and we are held hostage not only by these decisions, but by the consequences of them as well. All the education and knowledge in the world does not guarantee that our choices will turn out the way we expect them to or guarantee us that we have made the RIGHT decision.

I struggle constantly with this very issue. I say that because as much work as I have done on myself, there are still issues and patterns that arise which I need to uncover and discard. This is a process and one that has no graduation date! Probably my greatest test of faith has to do with keeping myself afloat financially while working with people who are themselves struggling emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially. This is not an easy economy in which to have a spiritual and healing practice; often times at the end of the month or a week before that, I am deciding if I should pay for gas or food.

Today I was in a place of fear about money and after a short burst of tears, I became still and quiet. I listened for guidance and answers - within moments they came! I heard the words “God is your business manager.” Now how in the world can I fail if the Creator of this remarkable Universe is in charge of making sure I can pay my rent, buy food and put gas in my car?

My experience with faith has been that the more I trust in my God, the more I find that I am ONE with this power. Just as is taught, the Kingdom of God is within me. When I place my trust and faith in this power and surrender all the results, not only is my fear stripped away, but I am given opportunities to experience my Oneness with God all the time. I can think of no better reward!

For me, faith means that I get out of my heads (thoughts) and out of my heart (emotions) so that I may reconnect to spirit; by so doing, I reconnect to that awesome energy and force that created this Universe. From this place, I get the big guns of information for download!

A TRUE HIGHER POWER

I ask almost everyone I work with if they believe in God, a Creator, a Source or a Higher Power. Inevitably, everyone says, “oh yes, I do.” But, when I ask them what that higher power is or looks like to them, they stare at me as if I have two heads!

It is not enough, especially when one is ill or in a challenging place, to have a vague notion of a higher power. After all, if you needed a doctor, you would see that image in your minds eye, then do your research and find a doctor. You would not just walk around looking for someone who kind of resembled a doctor, maybe or hopefully!! So, when you need a force that can help you really heal and not just treat your symptoms, why is it enough to just kind of, maybe, once in a while, think about God or this Power?

Take time to form a picture and a resume of what this power, force, energy or being is to you. This is YOUR higher power and he/she/it can be anything and anyone you choose it to be. Create a detailed picture in your mind. Form an intimate relationship with this amazing, infinite power because when you need a lot of help, this is the place you want to be.

I have said this before and I will keep saying it, my God is my best friend, my advisor, my counselor and my advocate (and now my business manager!). I talk with God all day long and ask for clarity, miracles and guidance. Not only do I talk and ask, but I KNOW without any doubt that all the answers are on a blackboard right in front of me and all I really am asking for is a new pair of glasses so that I can read everything more clearly. I work very hard at always going into my sidebars with God having trust! This is the power that created the Universe and keeps it going – how could I doubt that?

So...when you get really serious about deep healing on a physical, emotional and spiritual level, you must get to know the power and force that you believe created all of this awesome stuff! That way, when you go to this power, you know the outcome is going to be just as awesome and amazing!

P.S. The additional benefit to this is the following: when you have a higher power or God like this, you no longer need to rely solely on humans for help. I think we all know how hard it is when we are suffering and chronically ill or in pain for a long period of time. We don't want to be a burden and yet, we need to know that we are not alone. Having this relationship with God/Creator/Source will offer you a place of refuge and give those humans in your life a chance to step back once in a while and see that you are really and truly something beautiful and perfect to behold as you take your healing to a new level! And who knows? Maybe you will end up giving your human friends some pretty amazing counsel as well!

As you begin to form a relationship with your God or higher power, you will be amazed at all the opportunities you are given to surrender your will to this force. When you finally experience what it is like to live in this surrender and without fear, you will live a life you cannot dream of!

EGO (Edging God Out)

When working towards any kind of healing be it emotional, physical or spiritual, one must begin to identify how ego works in his/her life. When I speak of ego, I am not talking about the “I am just so great” idea of ego, but the part of a person that sees him or her as separate from others and from God, the part of the person that wants to remain in control all the time and never surrender the results to any unknown outcome. Ego is also the part of us that judges ourselves and others as well as the part that cannot forgive ourselves or others. Ego is also the part of us that lives in fear.

I have come to believe that I became sick with fibromyalgia, endometriosis and RSD all at the same time because I needed to wake up and answer God's call! Although I had spent most of my life knowing that God existed as an infinite, loving and powerful force, I did not trust that this God cared about me specifically. I had been in a great deal of fear for most of my life and as an intelligent woman, I learned that controlling everything was my only technique for combatting this fear. Unfortunately, this did not work well and caused me to become more fearful, more controlling and more judgemental.

When I was finally faced with losing the use of my legs altogether, I unplugged my ears, put my ego on hold and heard the still, small voice that had been calling me for years.

Since that day, my life has changed in ways I can hardly imagine. No, I am not wealthy beyond belief and I have not met the love of my life...but, I am healed inside and out and that is priceless. I learned to forgive myself and those around me for everything that I had seen as some slight against me.

Not only was I able to forgive, but I was able to see how I had taken every incident in my life and made it ONLY about me – even when it was clearly about someone or something totally unrelated to me! Releasing the need to always be center stage was such a relief! I had always admired those people who could go into a crowd of people and sit quietly and at ease amongst them because I was never able to do that – today I am free to just be still amidst the chaos and noise and it is wonderful!

Just as important, I am able to take every challenge that in the past might have unhinged me and see that it is a lesson to help me grow. When I approach difficulties in this way, they are no longer roadblocks but they become roadsigns directing me where I need to focus and change. As I rely on my Creator to help me, we both move towards another place of learning and healing...again, this is a process that I could not live without!

FORGIVENESS & JUDGEMENT

Ok..let's get this straight right now...forgiveness is NOT about condoning bad behavior! Most people that I work with cannot forgive someone because they feel that if they do then that will mean they accept what was done to them. That is not it at all. Forgiveness is about releasing the toxic energy that the incident created within you; after all, it is doubtful that the person who slighted you is carrying around hurt and resentment! So, you must learn to forgive, if nothing else than to allow your body the freedom from ever carrying any negative or dark energy within it again.

If you have a hard time with forgiveness, you must ask God/Source/Creator or your higher power to help you. Ask for guidance on this. Ask to have the negativity released from within you. Ask for a way to find forgiveness for someone. God knows what you need and will always provide when asked.

Today, I began to think about an exchange that happened on an online community forum. I was really put out by the negativity and judgement that was going back and forth until it hit me square in the chest: the experience or the reality is literally created by the observer. Therefore, no one but the observer will have that specific reality or experience; if that is the case, then I have no way of truly knowing what you are experiencing (seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting or smelling) because as you are the observer of YOUR reality, your experience by definition MUST BE completely different from mine!

This is just beautiful because it releases us from every having to engage in judgement. If we can never know what anyone else is actually experiencing, because it is unique only to them, then how in the world can we judge it? If we did have the guts to make a judgement, we would be doing so from a place of total ignorance!

The moment I really “got it” gave me immense freedom. I think most of us are judgemental even when we don't think we are being so. I know I am and often I catch myself about 10 or 15 minutes into it before I realize what I am doing...it usually goes like this: “So and so did this to me or said this to me and I just cannot understand why they said it. I mean if they know me at all, then they know that they should not have said or done that because it is incredibly hurtful. Why in the world are they not treating ME the way they would want to be treated?'

On and on it can go if I let my mind have free reign. But now, I know...they may have said or done something based on an experience or reality that I am unable to fully experience in the same way. For this, I cannot pass judgement.

Now here is where this gets really cool! If we eradicate judgement, then we begin to vibrate at a higher frequency that is more based in and aligned with love. As we do this and others also do this, then we are becoming more and more alike or in tune with each other; the byproduct of this is that our experiences will become more similar and we will become more as one or of like thought! (and being of like thought is what we have been wanting all along!)

SOME LAST THOUGHTS

This is a tough world to navigate when one is healthy. It is even harder when one is sensitive, empathic and vulnerable. Add to that a chronic illness or pain and it is nearly impossible. Everything we go through in this life is teaching us something. Usually we are learning how to love ourselves and others without ego, expectation or judgement.

I often find that people either really love me or they really hate me – there is no in between. When I come across those who hate me, they often go out of their way to be cruel and hurtful; I never understsood this and recently ask God if I was being punished for something. What I heard astounded me! A voice that was so clear said the following: “Little One, this is not punishment for you. This is your opportunity to show those who need it most how to live a life centered in God and Christ Consciousness. You have many opportunities to show others how to live in love and in light. This is your blessing, Little One.”

A few days after that happened, I read a timely piece on why there are people in our life who cause us pain. I am pasting it here for you as it says perfectly what I want to share!

The Awakening: Vicky Anderson

"At this level, all thought waves that are not wanted are not merely pushed away, but rather, our mind is transformed and our perspectives are shifted.  This is one of the biggest shifts people will experience during humanity's current evolution.  We must come to understand that the events that cause our emotional issues are deliberately orchestrated by our Spirit.  This is done as part of the Divine plan, both for our own growth and for the growth of humanity.

Many of our thoughts are not from our own mind.  So the people who cause your unwanted emotional issues are not really responsible for their actions at all.  It is their compassionate Spirit who, from the soul level, agrees for them to play the 'bad guys' in each of the karmic dramas in your life.  And your Spirit also agrees for you to play the 'bad guy' from time to time, so they too can grow emotionally and spiritually.  Both of these Spirits, yours and theirs, love you more than you can know.

The minute we release the grudges we hold toward these people for playing their part in our dramas, our sub-conscious mind can inform our Spirit that these grudges no longer have a hold on us.  That’s when our Spirit opens for us a direct line of communication with God."

This is such an important place for us to be able to get to...a direct line of communication with God/Creator/Source or Higher Power.

Your God wants this for all of us. Get to know your God or higher power and find out what special blessings you are being given. As you do, you will heal because you will release those things which is of human creation that keeps us separated from our Oneness with our God.


And Finally...BAD THINGS IN GOD'S WORLD

People will often use the argument that there is no God because there is so much negativity, illness and horror in this world. I have learned that everything which is negative in this world is man-made, not God made! God wants us to be abundant, prosperous and healthy. Only man can create limits, poverty and disease. If we are aligned with and remember our Oneness with Source, then we do not have to experience the darkness of humanity. We can be free, healthy and at peace to live always in the Light. Namaste.