Living Deeply, Fully and Fearlessly

I am learning to live fully!  To embrace the ancient and awesome wonder of this Universe and all of us who have existed for eons upon eons!

I continue to hear, "Look deeper."  

I am not always sure how to look deeper, but I find that if I become still and relaxed, then I am treated to a blissful knowing, by means of a vision, that gold and silver filaments seem to weave in and out connecting everything and everyone in a beautiful web of love, energy and power.

As I continue to awaken each morning knowing I have no past, but only the moment of now, I am celebrating in a way I never imagined possible!  

As I breathe, I breathe with everyone.  As I cry, I cry with everyone.  As I heal, I heal with everyone.  As I laugh, I laugh with everyone.  As I love, I love with everyone and everything across and through the span of time and space - I expect nothing, I demand nothing.  I can only give and receive as if love is my breath, inhaling and exhaling without conscious control.

This is life, experienced deeply, fully and fearlessly!

Leaving the Past to Heal

Continuing on with the themes of Anita's book (Dying to be Me), I must admit to myself what I believe has caused my state of ill health.

While I can identify what makes sense physiologically, etc.,  I know that is not the true explanation for why I am so sick.

I spent the majority of my life consumed with self doubt and self hatred.  I never measured up.  For years, I blamed my parents for this but have discovered that this was never the case.  

I have already explained how I gave away my inner power to people, places, things and circumstances outside me.  In essence, I created, through my perception, all those people, places, etc.  I made certain that I was judged at every turn....I guaranteed that I would disappoint.  Because of this and my view that the world was a place to be feared, I loathed myself and my existence, even if I achieved success.

No one can live a healthy life with this degree of self hatred and anger seething and swimming through their body.  It is a wonder I have made it this far!

By recognizing this pattern, I have begun to heal.  In releasing these old patterns and my past, I will continue to heal.  

"Every morning we are born again.  What we do today matters most" Buddha

In reading this, I understood that all my yesterdays and what existed within them are gone!  As of this morning, I woke up completely healthy and restored!!  How powerful and beautiful that we are essentially resurrected every morning as our eyes greet a brand new, perfect world.

Look Deeper Part II

Here's is my Part II to learning how not to make people, places and things outside of me so powerful that the me inside is diminished.

Not only did I begin to resent and fear those I gave so much power to, but I also ended up making them my mirror...in other words, I only defined myself by their views or reactions to me!

I think we can all see how that means we never live in our true self, nor can we even figure out how to find that true self.

So, enough analysis and talk.  It is time to get quiet and go within fearlessly, but also with absolute faith that each of us will find and connect to Self.  Then we no longer need anyone or anything without to reflect or define us.

Instead we are free to live and love purely and powerfully without expectation or judgment!  We, in effect, live and love fearlessly as Anita exclaims!I had a truly amazing experience this morning!

Look Deeper

Yesterday I received some devastating news about my health so I have been in a bit of a fog.  I realize however, that I have been give an opportunity to truly heal the deepest parts of myself!  I have also been give the chance to deepen my connection to and faith in my Creator!

Today I am out getting prescriptions and as I wait, I begin to hear a faint hum and feel an energy rising through me.  I see the people around me, not as physical beings, but as pure energy and creation.

Suddenly I hear a voice (yes, that still small yet powerful voice we all know) say to me:

"Look deeper...go beyond what you think you see and know!  As you do, you will truly know me and yourself as ALL of creation.  Finally you will be a creator yourself."

What a difference a day makes when we ask for guidance and surrender to that guidance.

Who am I?

Jan 15 , 2015

Yesterday I had a moment of realization.

Everything that I have accepted as being "Lynn Walker" in many ways was created FOR me...

Even before I was conceived, the person I would become was being created!  

Here is how:

First, I was being created by my parents hopes, dreams and ambitions for having children...they individually and then collectively decided on what their children should be offered and made choices about how their children would succeed.

Secondly, I was also molded by society's expectations of who a person must become. What is a good person and how they behave in the world became part of my script.

Lastly,  my teachers had their own expectations and definitions of who a student should be and what a student should learn.

And above all, when I was cognitively ready, I agreed to all of these expectations and input.

So much is decided and chosen for each of us before we are able to agree.  Consequently, many of us simply accept these scripts and play these out during our lives, never questioning who we truly are!

So beyond this...who am I?

The truth is, I am not any one of these scripts.  I am only consciousness or awareness created by Source or extended by Source to experience pure, infinite love.  This can never be learned or taught as we are born into this purity of power.  Our task is to awaken and remember this.

As I contemplated this, I came to see that my script is like the film running through a projector being shown on a screen;  however, my true self/being is the light which shines and illuminates this film!  Even if the film stops or breaks, the light, my light continues to shine!  

I am this light forever, may I never forget.

Resistance

I am learning to stop resisting. I am learning to accept each moment because it is my moment, no matter what.  I am learning to do this with grace.  I am learning.

Pain vs. Suffering

"The Difference Between Pain and Suffering

There is a Buddhist teaching that says that when you get hurt, say, by an arrow, that is pain. The arrow hitting your arm, it hurts. Pain. However, there is a second arrow, which is your reaction to the arrow, the getting angry, the planning revenge, that is beyond pain, that is suffering."

Excerpt from:
8 Zen Master Stories That Illustrate Important Truths
Claudia Azula Altucher